fartchurch

body by buffet

[fartchurch @mastersonsarah]

me watching travel show: I miss traveling

me watching food show: I miss eating out

me watching crime show: I miss getting murdered

[fartchurch @mastersonsarah]

I’m on blue sky I’m on substack ok well i’m on the dominos app crafting hundreds of topping combos and then abandoning cart

[fartchurch @mastersonsarah]

@alanheathcock @idahome_m Wild Plum for sure

[fartchurch @mastersonsarah]

@authorityfriend that is called flirting

[fartchurch @mastersonsarah]

Good will hunting but i realize I’m secretly a genius janitor

[fartchurch @mastersonsarah]

Boise: psst here’s another speak easy shhh! hehehe
*me drunk in my backyard burning an entire Christmas tree*
“Oh I won’t tell anyone”

[fartchurch @mastersonsarah]

Bring my whole self to work? Babes I haven’t seen her in 3 years.

[fartchurch @mastersonsarah]

Baby on board sticker for when a baby is driving. Me. I’m the baby.

[fartchurch @mastersonsarah]

Boise Russet Potato Nicole. You must stop snowing.

[fartchurch @mastersonsarah]

Me in an Uber trying on a different personality for fun.

[Laura Bassett @LEBassett]

Lot going on here

[Jared Freid @jtrain56]

“Are they in our grade?!” - Me, a 38 year old man.

[fartchurch @mastersonsarah]

Mic drop is short for microwave dropping on top of my head.

[fartchurch @mastersonsarah]

Normalize telling ur partner u on a video call in the kitchen so he crawls around on the floor.

[fartchurch @mastersonsarah]

Pojo’s is a beautiful name for a girl

[fartchurch @mastersonsarah]

Ppl: I love your personality!

Me: thanks, it’s reversible

[fartchurch @mastersonsarah]

My body is a Shirley Temple

[fartchurch @mastersonsarah]

how does one become a therapy dog do i just order the vest and go from there

[fartchurch @mastersonsarah]

Put the ER inside the IHOP.

[fartchurch @mastersonsarah]

@EuphoriTori Women are so excited about the sun.

[fartchurch @mastersonsarah]

Idaho Yelp be like, “Dear Pizza Hut your fries are so bad how could you.”

[fartchurch @mastersonsarah]

Maybe I’d like to get the zoomies for once.