sam

I drink too much Milk and I smell like a Bitch

[sam @mastertanslasha]

@swinstel such a great Bildungsroman novel

[sam @mastertanslasha]

@Lauren_Last what's the meaning of Stonehenge?

[sam @mastertanslasha]

Watching sport fishing shows is like soft core porn for me

[sam @mastertanslasha]

@iamthatbae HUGE FAN OF #FENNEL

[sam @mastertanslasha]

My favorite food is black licorice. I'm morally against dried fruit on salads and my celeb crush is the guy that plays Gandalf

[sam @mastertanslasha]

If you would rather celebrate the birth of ZAYN MALIK the chosen one than watch the football game: good choice. My room at 8.

[sam @mastertanslasha]

Wearing a Mayday Parade shirt to yoga class to confuse the normies

[sam @mastertanslasha]

Apparently my cat is an alpha male? Haha what a loser

[sam @mastertanslasha]

My go to conversation starter last night was "So have you seen the Lego movie?"

[sam @mastertanslasha]

As I slowly slip from youth culture I'm increasingly appreciative of my lil sis for explaining things like "yeet," "thot," and "fleek" to me

[sam @mastertanslasha]

My Parents Are Ruining My Aesthetic

[sam @mastertanslasha]

What is my favorite vegetable visually speaking? I'd have to say rainbow chard.

[sam @mastertanslasha]

One time I stared at a palm tree for a really long time and it fell over #truefact no one will ever convince me that I am not special

[sam @mastertanslasha]

Space movies r absolutely lying to us. I refuse to believe astronauts r all work no play. So much more shit goes down besides hyper sleep.

[sam @mastertanslasha]

@mastertanslasha the fact that lobsters are only red after being boiled

[sam @mastertanslasha]

I would love to say that I have a strong opinion on Oxford commas but I just don't

[we @kanwetwitty]

im wierd, my friends think im crazy. I LOVE to travel. writing is my passion. when i get Indian food my favorite part is the naan.

[sam @mastertanslasha]

Managed to leave the fetal position I assumed on my floor watching Barefoot Contessa. Arrived at the gym to a tv continuing same episode $$$

[sam @mastertanslasha]

Bobby Flay could absolutely get it

[sam @mastertanslasha]

I would like to remind/inform everyone that I held a DYNASTY as cookie queen in my Girl Scout troop throughout elementary school