Mat Hancock

Previously Health Secretary, have since gone back to being an estate agent.

[Mat Hancock @mat_hancock]

@Clapperfilm I don't mind a bit of domination to be fair

[Mat Hancock @mat_hancock]

Is anybody hiring?

[Mat Hancock @mat_hancock]

@Clapperfilm Murdered wanted what? What did they want?

[Mat Hancock @mat_hancock]

@DA2Z5 @STS1979 @UKHSA @skynewsniall @BethRigby @SkyNews From Health Secretary to Mouth Secretary, I know where your dentist lives!

[Mat Hancock @mat_hancock]

@littonlad1 @Pupp3t_Ma3ter

[Mat Hancock @mat_hancock]

@MarkDavy642 @g_gosden I'm in too deep Mark, you gotta help me man, they just march me out there and I say what they tell me. I've got electrodes on my balls Marky. Ever had an electric current pass through your scrotum Mark? 100 volts straight to my man meat Marko. They bad fizz the Hangcock Mark.

[Mat Hancock @mat_hancock]

Time to send a few aids down to the corner shop for a briefcase of wine, lets go 🍻🍾 #partygirl #PartyGate #MyTwitterAnniversary

[Mat Hancock @mat_hancock]

Little exerpt for you all:
"I for one am very interested in the battle of Stalingrad, much like those brave generals facing blitzkrieg for the first time, I had no fucking idea what I was doing, so I just threw as many lives at it as possible, I drink my own piss."

[James O'Brien @mrjamesob]

Sorrywhatpardon?
https://t.co/cXtcndRow8

[Mat Hancock @mat_hancock]

@ScarlattiBomba @PapiTrumpo

[Mat Hancock @mat_hancock]

@IbbyKhanja In my defence I only lost my UK role on account of being too damn sexy. Our friends in the African continent are a lot less prudish and I'm sure would be ready to welcome the Hangcock with open palms. MH

[Mat Hancock @mat_hancock]

New job wish me luck

[Mat Hancock @mat_hancock]

@SmithStiffy I feel pretty damn sexy ngl

[Mat Hancock @mat_hancock]

@InsiderNhsx @JimBethell @Helen_Whately @hadleybeeman Uhno! I've'a done'a poop, in'a ma pants! a'Mama mia!

[Mat Hancock @mat_hancock]

I've made a huge mistake

[Mat Hancock @mat_hancock]

The only thing I've resigned today is another contract for 5 more years as Health Secretary. I will fuck every single persons wife in this country before one of you peasant shitbag commoners thinks you can remove me from office. I am Mat. I am fast. I am untouchable. I AM HANCOCK

[Mat Hancock @mat_hancock]

@kenoakes6 She won't reply to my texts ken, what do it do

[Mat Hancock @mat_hancock]

Smoke so much jazz cabbage bitch call me Herbie Hancock
That snitch Dom Cummings be like a Poundland Sherlock

[Mat Hancock @mat_hancock]

@Isaac85814348 Yes bruv

[Mat Hancock @mat_hancock]

I would like to remind everyone that my actions were complicit with covid guidelines at the time on account of my phat dong being >2m. - MH #matthanock

[Mat Hancock @mat_hancock]

It's as simple as this, she was choking on an entire hotdog, I personally find hot dogs delicious, by removing it from her mouth with my tongue not only did I get to save my aides life but I also got to enjoy a delicious hot dog. - MH #matthanock

[Mat Hancock @mat_hancock]

@KeithParry2 @BorisJohnson You must be thinking of Matt Hancock, I'm Mat Hancock. Please be more vigilant when tweeting in future, spelling is hard I know, but you can do this Keith I believe in you. Have a lovely day. MH