mateothecomic

Professional amateur comedian, here 4 comedy only. Don't like a Tweet? Unfollow Twitter fools. This isn't mateo, this is Twitter mateo.

[mateothecomic @mateothecomic]

The only way to close a set when you’re the 40th comic of the night! jok... https://t.co/hHpezG5Wdj via @YouTube

[mateothecomic @mateothecomic]

ETs are LGBTQ+ and pointing fingers (my bad Justin) https://t.co/fI9326xv41 via @YouTube

[mateothecomic @mateothecomic]

White guy trying to fit in (just playing, thnx for being a good sport) https://t.co/l0D46vHNIZ via @YouTube

[mateothecomic @mateothecomic]

Vaccinate Kids #COVID19 #comedy #heckler https://t.co/Yz4BrUi3ux

[mateothecomic @mateothecomic]

#covid #vaccines #children #standupcomedy
https://t.co/pFEIhwT50j Reloaded Talent presents The Comedy Gong Show 4

[mateothecomic @mateothecomic]

#trump #biden #maga #mafa #standupcomedy
https://t.co/fKMPqGxzZj Reloaded Talent presents The Comedy Gong Show 4

[mateothecomic @mateothecomic]

#trump #Mexicans #buildawall #standupcomedy

https://t.co/1WiKk7vA3q Reloaded Talent presents The Comedy Gong Show 4

[mateothecomic @mateothecomic]

#missionaryposition #comedy #standupcomedy
https://t.co/XylcgnFpdM
Reloaded Talent presents The Comedy Gong Show 4

[mateothecomic @mateothecomic]

Hey yo, you don’t need to keep my wife’s name out of your boca, just keep your boca out of my wife’s concha. Nah mean? #teamChrisRock #TeamWillSmith

[mateothecomic @mateothecomic]

That slap was thrown the way you think a tennis coach might fight. What happened to #ali? @chrisrock is a beast #jokerslivesmatter

[mateothecomic @mateothecomic]

@RollingStone Neil Young is working hard to prove he's not an anti-vaxxer. I hate when people are like go after each other. "Old Man, take a look at your life, you're a lot like Joe is..."

[mateothecomic @mateothecomic]

@pattonoswalt baahahahahahahahaha!

[mateothecomic @mateothecomic]

@SethMacFarlane Fuck it, bring it on Joe! Who cares if you're coherent, just be honest. Honestly is a virtue. Honesty is the antithesis to Trump. #stoned

[mateothecomic @mateothecomic]

@rickygervais "I hope that was his cock, you stupid cunt"-fuck yeah, one of many lines proving that great comedy arises from great tragedy #afterlife is the shit

[mateothecomic @mateothecomic]

@bscomedian the BARACK OBAMA!

[mateothecomic @mateothecomic]

If you're gay and colorblind, is the rainbow both a source of pride and shame? Proud of your sexuality, but ashamed of your inability to see indigo?

[mateothecomic @mateothecomic]

I had a hard time dating in high school. Sometimes I would think that a girl likes me, and then one of her friends would say, "what's this 35 year old doing at my high school?" #jokes

[mateothecomic @mateothecomic]

Saw this billboard in Texas, it says CLEAN LARGE RESTROOMS! McDonalds!!! Clean your own fucking restrooms! #cornyaf

[mateothecomic @mateothecomic]

Rape jokes are just like peanut butter...they're not rape. #themorethatyouknow

[mateothecomic @mateothecomic]

"Eating out" is my two favorite things in the world. Fish taco and fish taco. My wife's and your mom's. You figure it out.