caite 🍃

A fake biologist with a passion for witty humor. But mostly I just do math.

[caite 🍃 @math_n_flowers]

Landlords told us we could have some of their bottled water in the apocalypse. They also made it clear they will shoot anyone stealing their food or toilet paper. Good thing our pantry has two shelves. #foodstorage #apocalypse #landlords #goodthingiknowkarate #renting

[caite 🍃 @math_n_flowers]

Hey @AlaskaAir can I talk to you about getting a meal voucher? The gate lady said to call you but um I think 7 hours on hold would make me miss lunch

[caite 🍃 @math_n_flowers]

I appreciate it when my homework specified whether we’re dealing with a flat or round earth. #FlatEarth #Math #byuacme

[caite 🍃 @math_n_flowers]

My textbook today: “This brings up an interesting point. Do your relatives consider you nonlinear, or are you the linear one that makes it easier to understand all of their nonlinearities?”
...
I have no idea what’s going on #byuacme #byumath #linear #pdiffeq

[caite 🍃 @math_n_flowers]

@Jharmer_3 I’m blaming you

[caite 🍃 @math_n_flowers]

Trying to get ahead in class except I can’t because the next section in the textbook isn’t written yet
#byuacme

[caite 🍃 @math_n_flowers]

@ahappilee Also plus I don’t want to. Does that factor in?

[caite 🍃 @math_n_flowers]

I could live without parking lot karaoke.

[caite 🍃 @math_n_flowers]

Everyone: Financial goals include nice cars and maybe a pool. Private jet would be nice.
Me: Maybe one day I can live somewhere where I don’t share a wall with loud neighbors
#goals #dreamfuture #backtoreality #whataretheyevendoing

[caite 🍃 @math_n_flowers]

Or maybe I’ll live far enough from a major road that I don’t hear sirens and screeching tires and car alarms all night

[caite 🍃 @math_n_flowers]

Dear kid standing right behind me in the textbook line:
I get that you haven’t been here all summer, and it’s probably your first year. Welcome to campus. We distance here. Now GIVE ME MY SPACE.
Love,
Me
#sixfeetplease #BackToSchool2020 #BackToSchoolSafely #textbookscam

[caite 🍃 @math_n_flowers]

All these new policies for distancing and contact tracing on campus are pretty annoying... good thing it will only be for another week or two... #OnlineClasses #Quarantine #Shutdown #MaskUp #MaskUpButtercup #SocialDistancing

[caite 🍃 @math_n_flowers]

@ahappilee ...what were you hoping to learn how to fake?

[caite 🍃 @math_n_flowers]

“I needed a major change in my life, so I changed my phone background and rearranged all my apps. It’s like I’m a new person!”
#newsemester #newsemesternewme #apps

[caite 🍃 @math_n_flowers]

Planned my whole day around my work meeting today, was looking forward to hearing how everyone was doing, had all my questions planned out. Logged onto Zoom and realized...

today is not Thursday.
#WorkFromHome #zoomfail #wednesdaymorning #WednesdayVibes #everydayisthesame

[caite 🍃 @math_n_flowers]

@Jharmer_3 As long as they don’t follow you on twitter, they’ll never know

[caite 🍃 @math_n_flowers]

Leave it to the mathematicians to create a whole lesson on correlation between petal/sepal length without ever including an actual flower picture... excuse me while I go fix that...
#MachineLearning #scikitlearn #byuacme #LinearAlgebra #fakebotanist

[caite 🍃 @math_n_flowers]

Reasons I don’t cut hair for a living:
“Can I take your head off and put it at a more convenient angle?”
“Ugh I really need better tools”
“Oops”
“What if I just cut off your ears?”
“I could quit now but that would be accepting defeat”
“Really though can I cut off your ears”

[caite 🍃 @math_n_flowers]

Also training my brain to use the words “challenge” or “difficulty” or “issue” instead of “problem” all the time, unless I actually do mean Problem 5.

[caite 🍃 @math_n_flowers]

Writing homework problems is hard. If the depth starts at 0 and increases, do I tell them to watch out for the depth getting too high? or too low? #math #decisiontrees #MachineLearning