Mat Saenz

Sour Patch Adult

[Mat Saenz @mathieusaenz]

Because of a rare legal precedent, Trump has the exact number of convictions to be still be eligible for the presidency. Search for “Trump rule 34” to learn more.

[The Associated Press @AP]

BREAKING: Donald Trump is convicted of all 34 counts. He is the first former American president to be found guilty of felony crimes.

[Mat Saenz @mathieusaenz]

Need me a sugar buddy like Harlan Crow. Just a dude that flies me around the world and pays for my dog’s vet bills.

[Mat Saenz @mathieusaenz]

Worst part about this Lakers/Grizz game is that it’s on ABC so we don’t get to see the @NBAonTNT crew react to it

[Mat Saenz @mathieusaenz]

Pretty fucked up that I got laid off but the IRS still wants me to do my taxes. Read the room, bro.

[Mat Saenz @mathieusaenz]

when the white dude at karaoke steps up to the mic to do a Shaggy song

[Mat Saenz @mathieusaenz]

For sale: baby shoes, never worn. (Thought I was ordering a size 12, not a 12 months.)

[Mat Saenz @mathieusaenz]

Can’t tell if my power is cutting out or I’m just blinking #TexasFreeze

[Mat Saenz @mathieusaenz]

rejectedtweets_2022.jpeg

[Mat Saenz @mathieusaenz]

@AlyssaNicole44 Yep!

[Mat Saenz @mathieusaenz]

My favorite movies of 2022:

Everything Everywhere All At Once
Decision to Leave
RRR
Turning Red
On the Count of Three
Nope
@RealGDT's Pinocchio
Barbarian
Glass Onion
The Banshees of Ed Sheeran [sic]
The Batman
Bodies Bodies Bodies
The Menu
Bullet Train
Hustle

[Mat Saenz @mathieusaenz]

@mrcarpediaz Scream was literally 16th place! It got deleted before send but it’s a goodie

[Mat Saenz @mathieusaenz]

the only difference between a cosplay and a costume is if you’re a huge dork or not

[Mat Saenz @mathieusaenz]

Sometimes working in tech is really draining and I think maybe I should leave it all behind to become a hunter-gatherer

[Mat Saenz @mathieusaenz]

I have not read my @23andMe health reports. That's none of my business.

[Mat Saenz @mathieusaenz]

all of the shirts and stickers that said “country + rap = CRAP”

simpler times 🥲

[Mat Saenz @mathieusaenz]

the backlash that Nelly & Tim McGraw got for putting out a collab in 2004 is my first memory of the culture war

[Mat Saenz @mathieusaenz]

You’re telling me machine gun Kelly is a real person? I thought that was the default dude from Fortnite

[Mat Saenz @mathieusaenz]

https://t.co/2suUCzqxfn

[Mat Saenz @mathieusaenz]

Stainless steel? Really? We’ll see about that

[Mat Saenz @mathieusaenz]

Started a new job this week which means lots of orientation which means I’ve been workshopping a tweet. Prepare yourselves.

[Mat Saenz @mathieusaenz]

Stainless steel? Really? We’ll see about that