Matt Candio

Comedian | We’re Good, You’re Great! @SteelStacks (PA) | Dark Sneak Love Action (NYC) [email protected]

[Matt Candio @matt_candio]

"Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"
"::sigh::"
"Oh, hey Matt."

[Matt Candio @matt_candio]

He’s Lovin’ It

[Matt Candio @matt_candio]

Incredible view of the northern lights from my apartment.

[Matt Candio @matt_candio]

“Describe yourself in three words…”

[Matt Candio @matt_candio]

Remembering I’ve spent $1000’s on improv classes

[Matt Candio @matt_candio]

Paddington in Antarctica

[Matt Candio @matt_candio]

I just realized the tornado in Twisters is the same one from Twister.

[Matt Candio @matt_candio]

…cocaine?

[Matt Candio @matt_candio]

I can’t fucking wait for this very real movie that is definitely being released.

[Matt Candio @matt_candio]

Very cool that former American Idol hopeful William Hung was at the grocery store today.

[Matt Candio @matt_candio]

Disturbing scene from the 1989 thriller Dead Calm.

[Matt Candio @matt_candio]

I’m done pretending this is a pig.

[Matt Candio @matt_candio]

I’m still telling people not to stare at the sun.

[Matt Candio @matt_candio]

Poor football coach.

[Matt Candio @matt_candio]

Merry Christmas.

[Matt Candio @matt_candio]

My 401k

[Matt Candio @matt_candio]

This hurts.

[Matt Candio @matt_candio]

“How’s the stand-up going?”

[Matt Candio @matt_candio]

@cctvidiots

[Matt Candio @matt_candio]

Just finished the second GOP debate. This is what I saw 🧵👇