Matt

Just waiting for bad puns to come into fashion to become the worlds greatest comedian

[Matt @Matt_D_Porter]

Mmmm

[Matt @Matt_D_Porter]

@bandofduckies If you took a surname like Smith, I would disown you.

[Matt @Matt_D_Porter]

@DavidLammy @pritipatel That’s boardline insanity.

[Matt @Matt_D_Porter]

Saw @siandocksey at Mach Fest! Fucking brilliant. Such pure erotic octopus vibes.

[Matt @Matt_D_Porter]

I applaud Boris in his efforts to make the UK a sexier place, showing the world we have an ass that just won’t quit.

[Matt @Matt_D_Porter]

There is gunna be some top patter in the House of Representatives @DaftLimmy

[Matt @Matt_D_Porter]

@matthewcrosby Is this what is Holden up the count in the US?

[Matt @Matt_D_Porter]

@timkeyperson Worst part is, the clip Horne shows you is “Donald’s Crime” where he just imagines he goes to prison.

[Matt @Matt_D_Porter]

@Tesco Sandwich - rich beef sausages
Snack - rich beef sausages
Drink - rich beef sausages or fizzy beef wine if over 12.

[Matt @Matt_D_Porter]

@TheSimpsons Springfield nuclear power plant

[Matt @Matt_D_Porter]

@YorkshireTea @francesca90

[Matt @Matt_D_Porter]

@englandcricket @MAWood33 @francesca90

[Matt @Matt_D_Porter]

@bandofduckies Google is listening, doesn’t matter if you’re near, far, where ever you are.

[Matt @Matt_D_Porter]

@Tesco Rich Beef Sausages

[Matt @Matt_D_Porter]

@Tesco Rich Beef Sausages

[Matt @Matt_D_Porter]

@swbristow I would play him. He cares and is the best set piece taker we have.

[Matt @Matt_D_Porter]

@swbristow Dreadful game all around.

[Matt @Matt_D_Porter]

@jxebxck @francesca90

[Matt @Matt_D_Porter]

@swbristow @GoalscorerC Ian Wright

[Matt @Matt_D_Porter]

@Show_And_Tell @JosieLong @BridgetChristie @lollyadefope @UnionChapelUK @TrussellTrust @IFAN_UK @smowen88