m.

Sure!

[m. @matt_kickflips]

Bean can #beancan

[m. @matt_kickflips]

Just one of those days.

[m. @matt_kickflips]

I thought this was Gary Oldman in Tiptoes for a second.

[m. @matt_kickflips]

@cincyjz I got locked in my shed!

[m. @matt_kickflips]

If anyone wants to sublet my place August 15 - Sept 15 they can kiss my ass. I will be living in my apartment at that time.

[m. @matt_kickflips]

If you enjoyed this tweet consider hiring me, here is a commercial for my small business.

[m. @matt_kickflips]

@benwassertweet @waziot Those people are toxic lol could totally see them talking about me, it was a great loss when I cut them out of my life. I’m awesome.

[m. @matt_kickflips]

I pay off all Delta-8 purchases with Klarna.

[m. @matt_kickflips]

“Umm 🤓🤓🤓 AcTuAlLy that’s a strawman theory”

Yeah lib, here’s a Mattman theory for ya -STFU my head was concaved by a bowling ball after I stuck my head in the ball return to see if there were people inside it pushing the ball out. I don’t know what strawman theory means.

[m. @matt_kickflips]

I’ll be the first to say it, put Tom Hanks in more movies.

[m. @matt_kickflips]

Left a couple teabags in my pants. now all these Brits are surrounding me at the laundromat saying “U MAKIN A SUDYS CUPPA, HUH? LUV IT MATE”

[m. @matt_kickflips]

How bout you stop using ZaZa and start loving Xenu.

[m. @matt_kickflips]

Damn can’t believe they got him for SNL

[m. @matt_kickflips]

Just hit that toe-curling Elfbar 😩

[m. @matt_kickflips]

When the revolution comes, any restaurant charging $15 for a burger and $8 dollars separately for fries goes to the gulag

[m. @matt_kickflips]

Done with standup. Heckler kept shouting “get my epipen” during my set, I don’t even know what that means. Taking a break from twitter yall, see you in a month.

[m. @matt_kickflips]

Are you kidding me?

[m. @matt_kickflips]

I’ve been sleeping in my Costco for 2 years now, this is redundant.

[KTLA @KTLA]

A real estate company proposed to give the South Los Angeles area its first-ever Costco with a unique addition: 800 apartment units built on top of it.

https://t.co/ohQHKFbyXA

[m. @matt_kickflips]

Proud union member at the C+C Music Factory

[Meesh Hell @waziot]

My EP is out now!