Matt Curry

LA based comedian and co-producer of Wet Cash (ticket link below)

[Matt Curry @mattcurrycomedy]

I hope Anthony Davis is hearing everyone calling him “Every Other Day-vis” decides to have another terrible game just to prove the haters wrong. #LakersVsWarriors #dubnation

[Matt Curry @mattcurrycomedy]

“This is the way” is Mandalorian for “That’s wassup.” #Mandalorian

[Matt Curry @mattcurrycomedy]

Telling a comedian they’re really comfortable with silence isn’t as nice a compliment as you may think.

[Matt Curry @mattcurrycomedy]

Sometimes doing standup can make you* feel like you’re not part of the cool club ‘cause you’re not passed at a cool club.
*me

[Matt Curry @mattcurrycomedy]

Wearing a mask in 2020: I do it so I don’t get Covid.
Wearing a mask in 2022: I do it ‘cause I just got Covid.

[Matt Curry @mattcurrycomedy]

I’m gonna be a slutty teacher for Halloween.

[Matt Curry @mattcurrycomedy]

Comedian DESTROYS show’s momentum.

[Matt Curry @mattcurrycomedy]

Sober October day 22: Thinking about the term “functional stoner.” A lot of stoners (me) use that term to refer to themselves with pride, but I feel like I could hold myself to a higher standard than “functional.”

[Matt Curry @mattcurrycomedy]

I refuse to buy any @BALENCIAGA products until they re-establish their partnership with Ye, dramatically lower their prices, and make clothing that looks good.

[Matt Curry @mattcurrycomedy]

Coca-Cola ranked from best to worst:
1. McDonalds
2. Glass bottle
3. Can
4. Plastic bottle
5. Random dive bar that hosts an open mic
I’m about to start drinking again just to never have to pay $4 for the world’s flattest soda to “support the venue.”

[Matt Curry @mattcurrycomedy]

Sober October day 1: This is the widest my eyes have open in 20 years.

[Matt Curry @mattcurrycomedy]

I was supposed to host a show at Hotel Cafe tonight, but it’s been cancelled. Some guy named Dave Chappelle wanted the venue. Must be friends with the owner or something.

[Matt Curry @mattcurrycomedy]

My target audience is drunk me.

[Matt Curry @mattcurrycomedy]

I’m not sure what accent Tom Hanks is doing in the @ElvisPresley movie, but I am sure he’s doing it wrong.

[Matt Curry @mattcurrycomedy]

I wish my career counselor had told me “Special Master” was a job I could have.

[Comedyinenglish @comedynenglish]

Prev @santamonicahi:
@DarthKline's "hair"
@Toripiskin's "friend"
@KassTheBomb's "name"
@michaelmagid's "podcast"
@TheDailyPrateek's "sample"

Next Sat 9/3 1436 2nd St 8:30pm w @AiYoshihara @mattcurrycomedy & More!

FREE!(Donations Suggested) https://t.co/FuS9sXngzO

#santamonica

[Matt Curry @mattcurrycomedy]

If you’re asking, “Am I out of time?” at a 3 minute mic, the answer is yes.

[Matt Curry @mattcurrycomedy]

If sperm donation was a work at home situation, I would have made bank today.

[Matt Curry @mattcurrycomedy]

I'm 41, but I have the accomplishments of a much younger man.

[Matt Curry @mattcurrycomedy]

Los Angeles: Do you enjoy laughing? How about free stuff? Supporting your boy?
You can experience all 3 tomorrow at Wet Cash Comedy at Berkshire House in Hollywood! Scan the flyer (high tech!) or just click on the link below and your dreams will come true. https://t.co/5F89FWlv7K