Matt Schofield

Rarer than a can of dandelion and burdock.

[Matt Schofield @mattlschofield]

@Footballfights Should've been a straight red.

[Matt Schofield @mattlschofield]

@secondtierpod There is nothing like celebrating promotion by singing about a prostitute selling her body for crack. Can't wait for the song they sing when they finish bottom next season.

[Matt Schofield @mattlschofield]

@barsidepodcast Simon Atangana

[Matt Schofield @mattlschofield]

@fplcopilot 3174694

[Matt Schofield @mattlschofield]

@Matt_Baldwin97 25 is just the amount of shots, 9 on target.

[Matt Schofield @mattlschofield]

@Matt_Baldwin97 That's 25 shots mate not that it changes your point 😂

[Matt Schofield @mattlschofield]

@itskegman Fit

[Matt Schofield @mattlschofield]

Liverpool's best player is 17 years old. The rest of them are rubbish.

[Matt Schofield @mattlschofield]

@philluckee @bttsmatt Just fucking tell me which ones to go for then don't make me do maths you nerd.

[Matt Schofield @mattlschofield]

@fesshole Kill the dog.

[Matt Schofield @mattlschofield]

@AlexBallsy1 Child abuse. Reported

[laurie @Welsh__Laurie]

Just want to say always trust the nhs. They were excellent removing a mole from my arse. Unlike the RSPCA who will prosecute me if I do it again.

[Paddy Power @paddypower]

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[Matt Schofield @mattlschofield]

Dutch and German players should not be allowed to pick their own walk on music #darts

[Matt Schofield @mattlschofield]

@coopuk Can you please get the pickled onion ring crisps back on shelves asap please, I can't live with the skin in my mouth being intact.

[Matt Schofield @mattlschofield]

@OptaJoe @bet365 Can you please check Tchatchoua tackles from tonight he's had at least 3 or 4. You even gave him one and then took it away around 60th minute.

[Matt Schofield @mattlschofield]

@barsidepodcast MBICK

[Matt Schofield @mattlschofield]

@AlexBallsy1 Ooh I'll have a look.

The kicking garlic mayo from harvester is currently my favourite.

[Matt Schofield @mattlschofield]

@srenner22 @NoContextHumans I've realised from another response that our pumps work differently in the UK. We usually pay after filling.

[Matt Schofield @mattlschofield]

@Bregisdog @NoContextHumans Fair enough, our pumps work different in UK you don't have to pay first.