Matt Lynn

[respectful huff @alexqarbuckle]

My mayor Muslim
My bagel Jewish
My cream cheese chive
Knicks in five

[Best of Kubrick @KubrickPoint]

The Shining but it's Goofy and Donald.

[BravoBabe @thebravobabe_]

Halloween is wild because what do you mean you're Tom Sandoval doing the backwards children's song challenge in The Traitors

[Defiant L’s @DefiantLs]

Who tf did this 😭

[Dani @danidelle23]

Never change Prince Louis

[Ben Yahr @benyahr]

I absolutely cannot believe the reality I am living in

[Kevin T. Porter @KevinTPorter]

fair is fair: let the williams sisters slap jane campion

[Non-GMO Chocolate @truetotruth]

Cause we all needed this closer look at it...

[Matt Lynn @mattlynn94]

I’m not sayin I’m fancier than you, but my quince paste budget is definitely higher

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

this desperate fucking idiot

[Matt Lynn @mattlynn94]

I had a good nights sleep and then I got to play golf with my dad and then I had a lovely dinner with my parents and had a delicious bottle of wine and then my train back to the city was direct and I’m just livin in pure bliss rn

[Matt Lynn @mattlynn94]

Mom: I love the sangria at that place

Me: I thought it was BYO

Mom: Well you can bring your own wine, and they’ll put it in the sangria! They still charge you though

Me: ...so you’re just giving them a bottle of wine

[Rep. Ilhan Omar @Ilhan]

Friendly reminder that the vote-by-mail fraud rate is 0.00006%.

[Matt Lynn @mattlynn94]

Sitting on a rooftop and watching a shirtless guy make his bed is the closest I’ve gotten to having sex all year

[Matt Lynn @mattlynn94]

perpetually mad I'm not the heiress to a fortune

[Matt Lynn @mattlynn94]

This train always blaming the tracks or a sick passenger, never lookin in a mirror and wondering, maybe the sick passenger was her all along?

[Matt Lynn @mattlynn94]

just had two friends tell me I inspired them to floss this morning

indisputably two miracles, are canonizations on hold for covid?