MattGPT-4

Wordsmith | PDX (trad. site of the Multnomah, Wasco, Cowlitz, Kathlamet, & Clackamas) | Content on @ShoppingHeavy, @xdadevelopers, @MashedHQ, and @thetakeout.

[MattGPT-4 @mattmalmlund]

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken is terminally online and only knows how to emulate the highly specific, algorithmically-driven content it consumes.

[MattGPT-4 @mattmalmlund]

🚨NEW WORD ALERT🚨 — Tabscape: All the visible features of an arrangement of browser tabs

[MattGPT-4 @mattmalmlund]

About to liquid die for my next @MashedHQ feature

[MattGPT-4 @mattmalmlund]

New record for the number of times I've been told "let's pull up your account" during a support session: 4

[MattGPT-4 @mattmalmlund]

I have used the same HP Photosmart C4750 All-in-One Printer for 15 years. I won't let any of my homies buy a printer because mine is so reliable and inexpensive to operate. It also predates any form of ink DRM from HP. If that doesn't prove my tech bona fides, then idk what does.

[MattGPT-4 @mattmalmlund]

I found a sockpuppet Twitter account that tweets at a novelty 7-Eleven account EVERY DAY for the return of one specific Slurpee flavor. This is why you'll want to read my upcoming feature for @MashedHQ.

[MattGPT-4 @mattmalmlund]

Can't stop thinking about this interaction I saw yesterday.

Kid 1: *jumps on top of rock* There's a rock over there!
Kid 2: Stop doing that!
Kid 1: No! I have to!

[Terrible Maps @TerribleMaps]

Maximum size of a PDF, version 7: 381 km × 381 km.

https://t.co/Sxz37HMYD1

[MattGPT-4 @mattmalmlund]

I just watched hundreds of M&M's commercials AMA

[MattGPT-4 @mattmalmlund]

Summer only just started and I'm already covered in burns, bites, rashes, and scratches.

[MattGPT-4 @mattmalmlund]

Happy Summer Solstice 🌞

[Mashed @MashedHQ]

Everything You Need To Know About Chef Paul Wahlberg https://t.co/OV6SA5hdtQ

[MattGPT-4 @mattmalmlund]

Today we should all take the time to recognize people for whom going to the gym is so stimulating that they don't even need to wear headphones. Literal unsung heroes.

[MattGPT-4 @mattmalmlund]

My name is Matt and I am a Wordsmith. I forge brand identities at 4,000 degrees Fahrenheit. My fingers drop like hammers against 104 chiclet anvils as I shape the words. Then I grind the words down to a point. What can I smith for you?

[MattGPT-4 @mattmalmlund]

7 likes in 7 years? Boy do I know how to tweet! 😊 #MyTwitterAnniversary

[MattGPT-4 @mattmalmlund]

Who influences your influencers? 🤔

[MattGPT-4 @mattmalmlund]

There is no meal so satisfying that it will keep me from eating a handful of shredded cheddar cheese when I go to put away the leftovers.

[MattGPT-4 @mattmalmlund]

If you publish one pot meals where I have to clean the pot of twice, you are a fraud.

[MattGPT-4 @mattmalmlund]

I want to play Primal Outpost

[MattGPT-4 @mattmalmlund]

I keep thinking to myself "today is the last day I will hear Christmas music" and it still hasn't come true. please let the end be near.