Matt Glaser

[Matt Glaser @mattnglaser]

https://t.co/ztuFxYfH4q

[Matt Glaser @mattnglaser]

Proof

[Matt Glaser @mattnglaser]

I literally just milked a chicken #hamjuice

[Matt Glaser @mattnglaser]

Spending the bachelor party at the royals. Alex Gordon has got a spot on our van #RoyalsSocial

[Matt Glaser @mattnglaser]

@mattnglaser: Bolo tie #bolo "bitch only lives once!" @natalielynnhill

[Matt Glaser @mattnglaser]

Bolo tie #bolo "bitch only lives once!" @natalielynhill

[Matt Glaser @mattnglaser]

Steve Irwin and Paul Harvey. Two of the greatest men to ever live

[Matt Glaser @mattnglaser]

Long time no tweet #hashtah

[Matt Glaser @mattnglaser]

Curiosity got the cat a cock ring this time.- Scott Glaser #meowmotherfucker @JustinBerger3 @BigCatLanger @drewkas

[Matt Glaser @mattnglaser]

I voted for #Neb in the #UltimateTeam competition! http://t.co/uLN9cAzIBj

[Matt Glaser @mattnglaser]

I don't even know what's right anymore.. rocko why? Why!!!

[Matt Glaser @mattnglaser]

@theCHIVERY hi. And I love you

[Matt Glaser @mattnglaser]

Cat Saturday bitches!!!! @theCHIVE

[Matt Glaser @mattnglaser]

I wanna go home this world isn't safe for my delicate toes

[Matt Glaser @mattnglaser]

Oooww i fucking stubbed my goddamn toe again!!!! This must be the work of satin himself! Take my eyes just leave my poor fucking toe alone!

[Matt Glaser @mattnglaser]

Owwe I stubbed my fucking toe on the goddamn stairs! This whole morning, no the whole fucking day is ruined! MOTHERFUCKER!!!

[Matt Glaser @mattnglaser]

I want this haircut and will pay a large amount of money to anyone who can make this dream come true for me

[Matt Glaser @mattnglaser]

Curiosity killed the cat. But how?

[Matt Glaser @mattnglaser]

A 7 year old kid just said that I look like I'm 50... is it the beard?

[Matt Glaser @mattnglaser]

I did this and mine said "Hey, lady! This ain't no YMCA!"... is that good? @theCHIVE