lord matt ollerhead BA MA

shabba!

[BladeoftheSun @BladeoftheS]

I'm old enough to remember Michael Gove turning up at work to vote completely off his face.

For that he didn't get fired, but he did get a peerage.

[lord matt ollerhead BA MA @mattollerhead]

@DudespostingWs Amazing!

[Martin Lewis @MartinSLewis]

Phone theft UP 40%. 5 things you should to do secure your mobile so they can't access your banking

Courtesy of ITV's Martin Lewis Money Show

Feel free to share

[Josh @joshpearson180]

Bet you didn’t think you’d see Mr Blobby signing Wonderwall today did you

[Rothmus 🏴 @Rothmus]

👏

[Andy 🇬🇧 🇩🇰🇪🇺 @andywatson83]

Hear me out... Knightmare, but with Joe Wilkinson as Dungeon Master, Adult teams, and everyone's drunk @Channel4

[PAUL ALIEN 9💎🔞🔞🔞 @PhilipL47837986]

🙈

[🕯️👻Jeanne Loves Horror👻🕯️ @1carolinagirl]

Late Night with the Devil (2023)💀🎬

[•spooki•girl•cassiopeia•™ @sadgirlcassi]

bow down before the one you serve
you're going to get a manicure

[Balderdash @notDcfcBoss]

Extraordinary writing. Funniest thing I’ve read this year.

[Stephen Purdon @stephen_purdon]

Tickets almost gone for our 1st ever live show troops!!

If you haven’t got yours get them now before it’s too late!!! 👌🏻

[doug power @wharleep]

5 Dollar Friday February Donate here @mycausecomau #itsmycause https://t.co/3YxJiJNlfx

[CALL TO ACTIVISM @CalltoActivism]

EVER READ THIS BEFORE?

SHE IS A KEEPER!

It happened at a New York Airport. This is hilarious. I wish I had the guts of this girl. An award should go to the gate agent in New York for being smart and funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably
deserved to fly as cargo. For all of you out there who have had to deal with an irate customer, this one is for you.

A crowded flight was canceled. A single agent was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers.

Suddenly, an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS."

The agent replied, "I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first; and then I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."

The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that
the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"

Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention, please?", she began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him with his identity, please come to Gate 14".

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically,
the man glared at the United Airlines agent, gritted his teeth, and said, "F*** You!"

Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry sir,
you'll have to get in line for that, too."

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.

[lord matt ollerhead BA MA @mattollerhead]

Glasgow is Grado!

[Jonathan Pie @JonathanPieNews]

Imagine the choice of replacements being so dire you’d bring back David pig-fucker Cameron.

[Supertanskiii @supertanskiii]

I’d pay to hear Danny Dyer’s opinion on David Cameron’s appointment today.

[WhatsOnStage @WhatsOnStage]

Lead cast for An Officer and a Gentleman tour announced https://t.co/e5WffVPSlT

[John Rowland @John_Rowland_PM]

The American version of our @GBNEWS dog shaggers

[Supertanskiii @supertanskiii]

Politics Joe have excelled themselves with this.