MATT RUBY

Comedian. New special BOLO out on YouTube now. Also: Writer of the Rubesletter and Funny How newsletters. Link below... 👇

[MATT RUBY @mattruby]

“The best emailed comedy newsletter coming from anyone today."
-Robert Bostick, HumorPoint

📰 https://t.co/IkFKwXLNc8

[MATT RUBY @mattruby]

Zohran: "I just want to help New Yorkers."
Jews: "He hates Jews and is dangerous to Jews."

Ignoring the validity of these statements, can't Jews see how much more hopeful/appealing to the masses the messaging is of the former than the latter? How do we run every PR firm yet...

[MATT RUBY @mattruby]

I congratulate performative activists on using Jews to solve this riddle: "What if i want the visceral rush of doing hate speech while simultaneously presenting myself to the world as a moral superhero?"

[MATT RUBY @mattruby]

Wealthy people get to look down on poor people. Poor people need someone else to look down on so…RACISM.

[MATT RUBY @mattruby]

"Helpless" (Neil Young) and "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" are the same song.

[MATT RUBY @mattruby]

It's strange how much people who oppose kink shaming love shaming others for liking certain kinds of comedy. There's, it's fine to tell people they're weird and wrong for what they enjoy.

[MATT RUBY @mattruby]

The only people who are right about Israel and Palestine are getting death threats from both sides.

[MATT RUBY @mattruby]

Everyone’s worried about men being lonely, but have you seen what they do when they’re in groups?

[MATT RUBY @mattruby]

I am pro-unions. Because I see how effective the police one is. Amazon drivers can't even get a bathroom break, cops get paid leave after shooting someone. Wow. Workers of the world, unite…and you can get away with murder!

[MATT RUBY @mattruby]

I was an alcoholic with ptsd who behaved badly in all kinds of ways. But hey, that was Tuesday. I’m a new man now! Put me in charge. It’s fine.

[MATT RUBY @mattruby]

Graham Platner feeling more and more like Progressive Hegseth.

[MATT RUBY @mattruby]

Kinda wild how much the "respect non-binary people" crowd engages in binary thinking on israel/gaza, zohran, luigi, politics, and everything else. What if I listened to y'all and now think life and nature are fluid and everything is a spectrum? I LEARNED IT BY WATCHING YOU.

[MATT RUBY @mattruby]

The secret three that Knicks fans need to give love to: Jay Wright, Thibs, and the Sphere. IYKYK.

[MATT RUBY @mattruby]

Some people say doing psychedelics is like 10 years of therapy in a single day. And to those people, I offer this humble suggestion: Your therapist might suck.

[MATT RUBY @mattruby]

is yellow his nap tie? 💤

[MATT RUBY @mattruby]

@Timodc @pmarca https://t.co/TXguWuh1O1

[MATT RUBY @mattruby]

@Bitcoin_Teddy "Liars tend to increase hand-to-face touching due to experiencing cognitive overload, the fight or flight response, and stress."
-Psychology Today

[MATT RUBY @mattruby]

I wonder if TED Talk speakers get nasty comments saying, "Nice standup special."

[MATT RUBY @mattruby]

This Knicks group is more than a team. They are a reason to believe. Been watching hoops all my life and never had this feeling. Love this team. 🧡💙🎆🏀🏆

#Knicks #nyknicks #nba #nbafinals #nyc

[MATT RUBY @mattruby]

This reminds me of MJ's Hall of Fame speech. Finding motivation EVERYWHERE. In every slight. In every wrong. Now he must destroy the Spurs even more.

[New York Basketball @NBA_NewYork]

Who pissed off Jalen Brunson at the end of Game 1?

[MATT RUBY @mattruby]

@NBA_NewYork Why does every single Karen look like this!???

[MATT RUBY @mattruby]

MARC ANDREESSEN: "We had meetings with the Biden admin where they told us to not even start AI companies because there's no way they'll let them succeed."
⬇️

[MATT RUBY @mattruby]

@Bitcoin_Teddy "Liars tend to increase hand-to-face touching due to experiencing cognitive overload, the fight or flight response, and stress."
-Psychology Today