Matt Satten

Philly-based. CFO/COO of Big Chef Cocktails doing business as @topdogcocktails. Views expressed here are my own. I do fantasy sports stuff at @rotobasketball

[Matt Satten @MattSatten]

Haha best video ever! https://t.co/gTKpgNI1S8

[Bleacher Report @BleacherReport]

Trust the Process 🙏

Game of Zones x Embiid (➡️ @ATT)

[Matt Satten @MattSatten]

@bowl_of_worcel Welcome back. Any fantasy basketball takes for this year?

[Matt Satten @MattSatten]

How many years (decades?) until we see someone top this streak? #ringthebell

[Philadelphia Phillies @Phillies]

What. a. run.

Cristopher Sánchez, take a bow

[Matt Satten @MattSatten]

@ryanhammer09 No National Champion @umichbball comp? I guess there's no #WorldCup favorite or absolute powerhouse of a team...

[Matt Satten @MattSatten]

@Ray_Kuhn_28 @ProspectsLive 🤣🤣🤣

[Matt Satten @MattSatten]

@mlbprospectsbot I appreciate what you do and like the promotion news, but some of the "rumors" probably aren't worth it. I'd suggest sticking to trusted sources or facts/news. The LaGrange post being an example of something NOT to post; it's just trying to drum up clicks with no basis behind it

[Matt Satten @MattSatten]

This is great

[Los Angeles Rams @RamsNFL]

We got the Draft soon… we got s*** to do!

[Matt Satten @MattSatten]

@CrossingBroad DID NOT AGE WELL LOL

[Matt Satten @MattSatten]

@FantasyProsNBA @koslow_ari Not on yesterday's injury report. Screwing fantasy players for today in championships! Lovely...

[Roy Rogers Happy Trails Music Shop  @RoyRogers_HTMS]

https://t.co/QvWejViNhb
Tedeschi Trucks Band absolutely incinerating Red Rocks with a massive 7-minute monster jam on the Grateful Dead’s “Franklin’s Tower” 🔥🎸

Derek Trucks in straight god mode on that Travis Bean slide guitar, Susan Tedeschi trading soul-shaking vocals and leads. Pure fire — this is why we chase live shows.
https://t.co/QvWejViNhb

[Count Dankula @CountDankulaTV]

The Afroman Trial.

-Cops raid Afromans house for bullshit reasons.
-Steal money, break his door, fuck his house up.
-No criminality found whatsoever, no charges at all pressed on Afroman.
-Afroman spends the next 3 years making songs that make fun of all the officers involved by name, even using footage of the raid from his own CCTV cameras.
-Songs had titles like "Randy Walters is a son of a bitch" and "Lick Em Low Lisa" accusing one of the officers of being a lesbian and sleeping with the other officers wives.
-During the raid one officer looked like he was about to eat some lemon pound cake sitting on Afromans counter, Afroman made a whole album calling the officer fat.
-The cops get mad and file a lawsuit for defamation.
-Afroman turns up to court in a whole American flag suit.
-Officers performatively mald and cry while listening to the songs really trying to oversell how badly the songs upset them.
-One officer was suing because Afroman made a whole song about him saying he was fucking the officers wife. When the officer was asked if Afroman was really fucking his wife, he said "I don't know". Nuking his own case and establishing that there is a non-zero chance that Afroman might actually be fucking his wife.
-As his only witness for the trial, Afroman brought a deputies EX FUCKING WIFE.
-The jury ruled completely in favour of Afroman.

This entire thing has been a great win for free speech and absolutely fucking hilarious.

[ProspectVibeCheck @PrspctVibeCheck]

I can’t believe the growth I’ve had on what was supposed to be a burner account. From hot takes to joining @ProspectsLive it’s been an amazing ride.

As a token of my appreciation I’m doing a follower giveaway once I hit 1500. To qualify you must follow and RT this tweet!

[Matt Satten @MattSatten]

@eric_nehm @eric_nehm Do you think Porter Jr. plays Tuesday? Fantasy basketball players in their playoffs need to know tonight unfortunately. Maybe you've heard or seen something? I appreciate it, thank you!

[Matt Satten @MattSatten]

Where is the Joel Embiid update we were promised today? #sixers

[Matt Satten @MattSatten]

@AdamSchefter @KlutchSports He didn’t have eight sacks the past two seasons, he had eight sacks combined over the last two seasons (6 in 24, just 2 in 25). You made it sound like 8 a year, 16 total. No wonder no one in the comments knows who he is.

[Matt Satten @MattSatten]

@BrooklynNets Bro’s blocking his own shot!
That form is awful

[Matt Satten @MattSatten]

@UnderdogNFL It's kinda cool how you can spell out "TITAN" in the logo with the T, the dotted i, the T again, and the negative space A with the star for the hole, and the negative space N on the right with the end of the T notching down.
But it was not worth doing the whole re-design for it.

[Matt Satten @MattSatten]

@TroegsBeer Very cool

[Matt Satten @MattSatten]

@AdamSchefter I tried to block Shefter, but just like Calcaterra, I couldn't block anyone