Matt?

can i get a hit of your crab cart

[Matt? @MattsVoices]

dropping out of film school to focus more on my minecraft parodies

[Dana Schwartz - on hiatus @DanaSchwartzzz]

just spitballing here, no wrong ideas, but what if, instead of trying "nothing," we tried "something"?

[Matt? @MattsVoices]

remember this tweet when nothing at all changes and then try and tell me there’s a god

[Matt? @MattsVoices]

fucking pathetic cowards

[Shannon Watts @shannonrwatts]

The President and other leaders told this man that Mexicans are rapists and violent criminals. That they’re taking our jobs. That they’re the enemy.

And then they gave him easy access to an AK-47 and ammunition.

This wasn’t mental illness; he was carrying out marching orders.

[Congressman Brendan Boyle @RepBrendanBoyle]

White nationalist terrorism is a threat in America today just as jihadist terrorism was for much of this century. White nationalism must be condemned and defeated.

[ً @taIIant]

Socrates: “To do is to be”

Plato: “To be is to do”

Scooby: “Do be do”

[Tom Arnold @TomArnold]

This is Donald Trump Jr. He is holding the tail of a beautiful African elephant he murdered as she got up from a nap. Donald Trump Jr. is the real piece of garbage.

[Matt? @MattsVoices]

trump was harsher on sweden for the asap rocky situation than he was on saudi arabia after the dismemberment and murder of khasoggi. very cool!!

[Ken Klippenstein @kenklippenstein]

Hey why doesn’t your dad ever appear in public anymore
https://t.co/uQYp2ODYKW

[niggaless cage @2sandz]

Wait til she finds out about the crack

[stealth 🥀 @stealthuwubackp]

get

(and i cant stress this enough)

him out

https://t.co/zLhOx18GgT

[rockcock64 @rockcock64]

Debate continues over new Call of Duty’s use of “guns” and “weapons” as a reward in a first person shooter murder fun game. https://t.co/SSAgmkgfOp

[ava 🇵🇸 @wownicebuttdude]

the opposite of an irish goodbye is a philadelphia hello, where you arrive to the party already drunk and avoid eye contact at least three people you've matched with on tinder

[Jules Suzdaltsev @jules_su]

We’re all going to die from irony poisoning if climate change doesn’t kill us first.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

Spoiler alert: he wasn’t licensed to drive a car, either, genius.

[Steve vs. Ninjas @stevevsninjas]

*pronounces surface like Versace*

[ClickHole @ClickHole]

Please call the police.