Matt Korchinski

welcome to my OnlyThoughts

[Matt Korchinski @matttheintern]

tbh if you’re not trying to get married, have kids, and then embarrass said kids by making out in public, we probably aren’t going to work out.

[Matt Korchinski @matttheintern]

I got told I need to be nicer to one of my bosses today, because when they said something, I made a face… how’s your Friday going? #stupidgameswinstupidprizes

[Matt Korchinski @matttheintern]

to the boyfriend of the lady in front of me on this bus ride,

you’re done bro 😂 She’s got screen shots and is talking to the other girl faster than you’re replying…

[Matt Korchinski @matttheintern]

Not sure what it says about me, but if you accuse me of something, and I can prove otherwise, I have zero hold back and you’ll regret doing it in the first place.

[Matt Korchinski @matttheintern]

why is it that my favourite movie is also the one that makes me cry? not a little tear once at the end. like three times throughout the flick.

[Matt Korchinski @matttheintern]

@imjustingraham completely new, nothing to do with horses or cows, and way out of my league. that’s all the people get 😂

[Matt Korchinski @matttheintern]

Hopeless romantic tip of the day:

Make sure she’s actually at work before you show up with flowers and her Starbucks order 😂

[Matt Korchinski @matttheintern]

Days into 2023: 23
Dates I’ve gone on in 2023: 1
Times I’ve been ghosted in 2023: 1

On fire out of the gate this year 😂

[Matt Korchinski @matttheintern]

As of December 25 it’s statistically proven that the guy you date after me, will be the one you marry 🤷🏽‍♂️ not too sure what that says, but I’ll take the credit for pointing them in the right direction

[Matt Korchinski @matttheintern]

I promise you I was not expecting to get a beef tenderloin as a Christmas present, but I also promise you I’m far from mad about it #growingupisweird

[Matt Korchinski @matttheintern]

@imjustingraham I’ll happily take credit for being an influencing factor in your switch to Apple at one point 💁🏽‍♂️

[Matt Korchinski @matttheintern]

@imjustingraham @Chelsie_D pretending I’m not aging is the exact reason I felt this way…

[Matt Korchinski @matttheintern]

can someone tell me why hangovers decide to show up after you’ve been awake for an hour? I was feeling fine and ready to go, but an hour into my day I need a nap, a cesar, and a shower 🙄

[Matt Korchinski @matttheintern]

update: I had a nap and all I got out of that was dreams where I kept dying i helicopter crashes… does this mean something??

[Matt Korchinski @matttheintern]

headed down to the horse sale in town today and learnt that I probably have 3 more heart breaks left in me for horse girls… I’ll shovel shit and build you all the pretty leather things if you can bring in $25k a horse darlin! #acceptingapplications

[Matt Korchinski @matttheintern]

and women named Kelsey are clinically insane 🤷🏽‍♂️ I don’t make the rules

[Matt Korchinski @matttheintern]

@s_hallzy You also can’t buy cold beer in government owned liquor stores! Private liquor stores, off sales, or dedicated cold beer stores only! it’s a strange place 🤷🏽‍♂️

[Matt Korchinski @matttheintern]

if you’re a fan of comedy, you MUST check out Taylor Tomlinson’s most recent special, Look at You. SHE CRUSHED IT!

[Matt Korchinski @matttheintern]

@Chelsie_D the things you learn when you live in the middle of nowhere 😂

[Matt Korchinski @matttheintern]

I’m not gonna lie, that dream was a fucking ride…