Matthew Chletsos

I have the personality of 9 tigers. Fluent in sarcasm.

[Matthew Chletsos @matty_kidd]

There’s a special place in spell for these witches

[Matthew Chletsos @matty_kidd]

There’s people sober in Africa and people are wasting beer here. Unreal

[Matthew Chletsos @matty_kidd]

I’m so hungover that I used creamer instead of milk for my cereal and it did not disappoint

[Matthew Chletsos @matty_kidd]

Gonna name my practice “what’s it called” so no one ever forgets the name

[Matthew Chletsos @matty_kidd]

PSA: don’t leave your glade air freshener automatic sprayer thing behind a lit candle unless you want a scary mini flame thrower and no eyebrows

[Matthew Chletsos @matty_kidd]

Every time capital one sends me a pre approved credit card letter I feel like I’m getting invited to a wedding

[Matthew Chletsos @matty_kidd]

Joyner lucas is the best thing since Eminem

[Matthew Chletsos @matty_kidd]

Royal Caribbean is the best and only cruise line. Don’t @ me

[Matthew Chletsos @matty_kidd]

Mary Kate and Ashley now look like divorce Kate and Ashley

[Matthew Chletsos @matty_kidd]

Your mcm says expresso and on accident

[Matthew Chletsos @matty_kidd]

Shoutout all the people who wear their pants so low and don’t fall off. Idk how you do it

[Matthew Chletsos @matty_kidd]

I have a +4 wild card for uno in my socks at all times. You never know when you’re gonna need it

[Matthew Chletsos @matty_kidd]

So I was just on a run and I passed this girl and she gave me a wink and a smile.. as I’m thinking I was just getting hit on, it hit me right in the face.. she crop dusted me

[Matthew Chletsos @matty_kidd]

This little kid is at the gym dribbling a basketball with one hand and eating with the other hand and I’m so fucking jealous

[Matthew Chletsos @matty_kidd]

People who sleep with just their feet outside their blankets are part of the problem

[Matthew Chletsos @matty_kidd]

@whysoserious @HillierFF We’re you drafting against 3rd graders

[Matthew Chletsos @matty_kidd]

Imagine how bad a place this world would be if guys got as mad as girls got when you use the forbidden word “crazy”

[Matthew Chletsos @matty_kidd]

Are you making a living or making a difference?

[Matthew Chletsos @matty_kidd]

The only person that I envy is the one I wanna be