Matt Thompson

I may not always be right, but I invite you to at least consider the possibility.

[Trav 🇺🇸 @NSC_Guru]

“Americans are insufferable after winning a match”

Buddy you wouldn’t last 2 weeks during College Football season 😭

[Glenn Reib @GlennReib]

Dear American Progressive Elite,
What a transcendent masterpiece of irony it has been watching our oh-so-refined European overlords descend upon this fascist wasteland for the 2026 World Cup like Victorian explorers discovering a lost tribe that somehow invented air conditioning and unlimited ranch dressing. They’re losing their entire minds. A French influencer had a full spiritual awakening in a Buc-ee’s bathroom the size of Versailles, live-streaming herself sobbing over a wall of beef jerky varieties longer than the Champs-Élysées. “Mon Dieu…they have forty-seven flavors of jerky…and a beaver mascot!” she gasped, immediately renouncing her 35-hour work week. The Germans...yes, the same ones whose autobahns occasionally pretend to have speed limits, have been spotted doing donuts in rented Ford F-150s the size of Panzer tanks while blasting Kid Rock at volumes that register on seismographs. One was heard whispering reverently, “This…this is what peak performance feels like,” right before shotgunning a 44-ounce Mountain Dew Code Red like it was holy water. The Italians discovered Costco and immediately declared it the Eighth Wonder of the World. A Roman chef had to be physically restrained from trying to marry a 72-inch pizza and adopt an entire pallet of ranch. “Mamma mia, the samples…they just give them to you!” he wept, abandoning his Nonna’s sacred recipes for a family-sized bag of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos .Even the reserved Scandinavians have gone feral. Swedes are riding mechanical bulls in cowboy hats the size of satellite dishes, screaming “Yee-haw, motherfucker!” in perfect English while chugging something called “Fireball” that would make their government-issued sadness vodka blush. The Dutch, normally high on legal weed and existential dread, have started every chant with “U-S-A!” and ended it by proposing marriage to the nearest Buc-ee’s cashier.

Meanwhile, you brave keyboard crusaders are having simultaneous aneurysms in your gender-neutral safe spaces because someone had the audacity to enjoy a country without first issuing a land acknowledgment, a trigger warning, and a carbon offset receipt. The Europeans are out here experiencing American abundance like it’s a religious conversion, and you’re still writing 4,000-word Medium essays about how a red Solo cup is settler-colonial violence. Please, keep telling us how irredeemable and terrifying this place is while actual visitors are having religious experiences at Whataburger drive-thrus and treating Walmart as their personal Louvre. The cognitive dissonance is so delicious I want to deep-fry it and dip it in your tears. With maximum theatrical eye-roll and a raised pinky.

P.S. They’ll all fly home soon and resume calling us barbarians. For now, they’re one Monster Energy and mechanical bull ride away from getting “Don’t Tread on Me” tattoos. Cope in 4K, darlings.

[ZitoSalena @ZitoSalena]

@KoreyABowles @JerryDunleavy Actually ☺️ while the Blue Ridge Mountains and the Shenandoah River are predominantly located in Virginia, they do pass through West Virginia’s Eastern Panhandle before converging at Harpers Ferry

[Matt Thompson @MattyT_6]

I'm fascinated by this and it's also why I love the WBC. Seeing how different countries play the game their way.

[Trevor Bauer (トレバー・バウアー) @BauerOutage]

How Japan Uses The Shift

[Richard Nixon Foundation @nixonfoundation]

For the fathers.

[Rock Chartrand @RockChartrand]

According to socialists, having more money than they do is evidence of moral failure.

Strangely, their own wealth never seems to cross that threshold.

The line between virtue and greed always ends up being located a few feet beyond their own net worth.

[Aelfred The Great @aelfred_D]

Wow

[Bonchie @bonchieredstate]

Russia is currently invading a European country and running the most sophisticated anti-West op ever, but they have shopping carts you put coins into so I’m sure it’s actually Israel trying to destroy the West.

New levels of brain rot every day.

[Matt Thompson @MattyT_6]

@_nickm17

[Oilfield Rando @Oilfield_Rando]

I don’t think the sideways gat crowd wants to mess with folks who have war crimes on the resume

[Ed Baker 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🚜 @EdBaker97]

Texas. Jesus what a place.

I often see Americans say on here “the European mind can’t comprehend..” and they’re are completely right.

From the scale of everything to the true southern hospitality. I loved every second and hope to be back soon. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

[Matt Thompson @MattyT_6]

@QuantK22 How could we? He keeps getting better!

[Lizzy Savetsky @LizzySavetsky]

Nothing says “lifelong Knicks fan” like putting Patrick Ewing’s retired No. 33 on the wrong player.

[Matt Thompson @MattyT_6]

@CameronCorduroy You don't really know how this went down, do you?

[Aelfred The Great @aelfred_D]

hmm

[Jimmy G @jimmygards]

They just can’t help themselves.

Thousands of Europeans are seeing more of America this summer than many New York Times staffers ever will.

[Matt Thompson @MattyT_6]

@skumWgmi Helluva real estate market on the sub-continent these days.

[Alleria 🇨🇦 Political & News Commentary @alleria_eh]

How to trigger MAGA and maple MAGA at the same time.

Newsom and Trudeau talking at the world cup game.

[Aelfred The Great @aelfred_D]

“What’s the problem, Rex, the old lady a bitch? Hahahahahaha”

“Hilarious, Joe, real original. She may be a bitch but your wife is a WHORE.”

“Whoa, easy boy!”

“HOW DARE YOU”

[Enguerrand VII de Coucy @ingelramdecoucy]

Be sure to drink your Ovaltine