Maurie

if you can't handle me at my diddliest, you don't deserve me at my doodliest

[Maurie @mauriespeed]

@delta your carry on policy is absurd. Why do you make us check our bags at the gate on my tiny commuter connector flight and won’t give it back before my long international flight with plenty of room?? There are people onboard going domestic and this is 🐂💩

[Maurie @mauriespeed]

I swear I’m not a hater, but I just would like to go one day without hearing anything about Taylor Swift. One single day.

[Maurie @mauriespeed]

Which is the worst streaming app and why is it Paramount+?

[Maurie @mauriespeed]

can’t wait to be old enough for people to let me to ruin fun moments with my long-winded advice no one asked for

[Maurie @mauriespeed]

@joeymonda wait, she didn’t?!?

[Maurie @mauriespeed]

my mother confirming my worst fear:

“with a hat on it looks like you don’t have any hair!”

[Maurie @mauriespeed]

why can’t farmers markets start at like, 10:30???

[Monica Alba @albamonica]

Photos from the Trump indictment showing where some classified documents were kept, via our @NBCNews Justice team

[Cornel West @CornelWest]

I am running for truth and justice as a presidential candidate for the People’s Party to reintroduce America to the best of itself - fighting to end poverty, mass incarceration, ending wars and ecological collapse, guaranteeing housing, health care, education and living wages for all! 
Join the movement at https://t.co/acRgC5GbOk!!

[Maurie @mauriespeed]

@matthewsperkins Oh she’s straight up batshit

[Maurie @mauriespeed]

unleashed my inner granny by seeing a Paul Simon cover band named “absinthe makes the art Garfunkel” and I LIKED IT

[Maurie @mauriespeed]

I could’ve finished building that IKEA bookshelf by now #LoveIsBlindLIVE

[Maurie @mauriespeed]

Is Brett having another wardrobe issue?? #LoveIsBlindLIVE

[Maurie @mauriespeed]

The thing about me now as a 30+ person is that if you want me to go somewhere that is loud, overpriced, and I don’t know anyone, you’re gonna have to find me first bc I just blocked you on all platforms

[Maurie @mauriespeed]

@bethfelkerjones “Only a little b*tch would take Delancey to 75…”

[Maurie @mauriespeed]

@Lhamlett0708 😂😂😂

[Maurie @mauriespeed]

@Lhamlett0708 What show is this??

[Maurie @mauriespeed]

@catchatweetdown Just finished “Bad Women”, and loved how they used the women in a particular story to discuss the larger experience of women during the early blackouts of WW2

[Maurie @mauriespeed]

@GovBillLee There is only one meaningful action you can take and you whiffed it. The children that make it will remember