Max Bailey

Self proclaimed genious | Jackson, Nj

[Max Bailey @maxbailey__]

My driver today asked if it was okay that he was on the phone. I said of course. The drive was 30 minutes. He said one word.

[Max Bailey @maxbailey__]

Why are some uber/cab drivers always on the phone? They’ll have headphones in and talk once every 30 seconds. Who are these people talking to? Why are they on the phone non-stop? Why do they talk so sparingly?

[Newton Woods Jedi @NewtonJedi]

I present the greatest hinge prompt of all time:

[Max Bailey @maxbailey__]

@BootsRiley i will be there opening night. sorry to bother you is my favorite movie ever. high expectations!

[Boots Riley @BootsRiley]

I Love Boosters. In theaters on May 22nd

A WIDE theatrical release- 3000 theaters

That's why I'm gonna need all the folks that ever said that Hollywood needs to make different, exciting shit, or think that my art is good, or useful-

to be there ON THAT 1ST DAY with 10 friends

[Max Bailey @maxbailey__]

@SenFettermanPA jesus I like Gerard Butler too, and it might be an underrated film, but is it that important to the American film industry?

[Max Bailey @maxbailey__]

Duality of man?

[Max Bailey @maxbailey__]

How the hell did beavers build the Hoover Dam?

[Max Bailey @maxbailey__]

Every time I have french onion soup, I nearly die from choking on the cheese. But it’s damn worth it

[Max Bailey @maxbailey__]

Wednesday night at a Chilis. Place is packed. I see families. I see business meetings. I see couples. I see friends. I see happiness.

[Max Bailey @maxbailey__]

Is it considered terrorism if someone killed Punxsutawney Phil?

[Max Bailey @maxbailey__]

@camelotslibrary I see this all the time and I’m convinced this is big target propaganda. Target ain’t gonna see me steal shit.

[Max Bailey @maxbailey__]

@StuartFeiner Stu knows quality food

[Max Bailey @maxbailey__]

People love trying to “fix” men’s ties but then they do absolutely nothing and the tie remains unchanged.

[Max Bailey @maxbailey__]

I fucking love fast food workers who take their job seriously.

[Max Bailey @maxbailey__]

Just realized I haven’t seen one this year. No wonder I’m not in the Christmas spirit

[Max Bailey @maxbailey__]

My favorite thing about December is the Hess truck commercials

[Max Bailey @maxbailey__]

They’ve infiltrated November???

[Max Bailey @maxbailey__]

“You know dasher and dancer and prancer and vixen, but do you recall the most famous reindeer of all”. No shit I remember Rudolph. He’s the goat.

That’s like saying, you know bill Wellington and Horace Grant, but do you remember MJ?

[Max Bailey @maxbailey__]

@ayeejuju so true

[Max Bailey @maxbailey__]

Whenever I put on a shirt and it’s 50/50 on whether it’s on backwards or not, it always ends up being on backwards.

[Max Bailey @maxbailey__]

I HATE walking into a bathroom that’s messy from someone else. Not cause I don’t want to be in a dirty bathroom, but because i HAVE to clean it up or the next person will think it was me who was the pig.

[Max Bailey @maxbailey__]

I have no idea what caramel is