Max Halpert

Time makes more converts than reason.

[Max Halpert @maxhalpert]

Girls be like “I want princess treatment”then I sell them off to a neighboring kingdom for defensive alliances and I’m the asshole

[Max Halpert @maxhalpert]

@GianmarcoSoresi I preferred the sequel Ocean’s Bakers Dozen

[Max Halpert @maxhalpert]

If the tariff war with Canada goes anything like the Grammys. I think we goin be alright.

[Max Halpert @maxhalpert]

@CraigWeston1 How were you able to get there are there any streets open?

[Max Halpert @maxhalpert]

@Hebro_Steele Did they say what street that was?

[Max Halpert @maxhalpert]

Ey girl, this Palisades forest fire got me thinking about the fire🔥 of our love 💕 that cleared the forest 🌲 my of defenses and set my heart ablaze 😘 They call us arson because when we’re together it’s all sparks ⚡️

[Max Halpert @maxhalpert]

Can I say something now that Trump is president again…

If I’m driving on a two lane and there’s a Waymo in front of me and your in the other lane driving the same speed as the Waymo so I can’t get past.

I should be able to kill you

[Max Halpert @maxhalpert]

Need an election night RedZone. Fox, CNN & MSNBC all on one screen

[Max Halpert @maxhalpert]

@Jbanklestankle1 This is cinema

[Max Halpert @maxhalpert]

@MPSomerstein Nice to know the local LA tea has hit NY

[Max Halpert @maxhalpert]

@doxie_gay WWRWCHD

[Max Halpert @maxhalpert]

@imabigfailure Dealbreakers the OG ick

[Max Halpert @maxhalpert]

@george__mack Lets not forget that bars and restaurant are usually dark so you cant even scan the code.

[Max Halpert @maxhalpert]

@JsonBasedman except when the "quick call" will solve what would take 10 emails, 25 chats and a day of my time

[Joe Biden @JoeBiden]

Donald Trump is a convicted felon with the morals of an alley cat.

[Max Halpert @maxhalpert]

Who knew the adderall shortage would hit the White House too

[Max Halpert @maxhalpert]

Run club is Scientology for millennials

[Max Halpert @maxhalpert]

@dgafjuju can i take a hit?

[Max Halpert @maxhalpert]

@lolennui 😂😂😂

[Max Halpert @maxhalpert]

@mondaypunday Becky Gesserit