Max Johnson

Making video games. Doing photography. Climbing rocks. Now with new improved Baby (TM).

[Max Johnson @maxmakesphotos]

At raging waters waiting for the season pass photo... And the machine just started glitching. Minute 50 and kids are about to revolt. #Waterpark #summer #adventure

[Max Johnson @maxmakesphotos]

An image of mine with @gothlet is being published in Dark Beauty Magazine. #AchievementUnlocked
https://t.co/G2Ib3WejET

[Max Johnson @maxmakesphotos]

Retail Stores: "Thank goodness Halloween is over so we can move the Christmas stuff to the front!" #ThatsTheSpirit

[Max Johnson @maxmakesphotos]

When someone tailgates me, I lightly tap "Shave and a Hair Cut" on the brakes. As cathartic as it is effective. #RoadSafety with #snarkiness

[Max Johnson @maxmakesphotos]

Pre-k teachers. Your 4 page homework: "Find which things match" does NOT NEED the kid to also COLOR IN every matching fucking cat. #busywork

[Gothlet @missgothlet]

@maxmakesphotos #pinup #pinupmodel

[Max Johnson @maxmakesphotos]

This creative lanquishing seems to be letting up. After months of "Meh." I feel like I finally have some wind back in my sails.

[Max Johnson @maxmakesphotos]

Legos with kids. "Farmer" turns to "bad baby" who burns down farm. Sentence for arson is dismemberment and having brain cut in half. #harsh

[Max Johnson @maxmakesphotos]

Been establishing naming conventions at work. I HATE naming things. This way I only have to do it once. #Efficiency is #ProactiveLaziness

[Max Johnson @maxmakesphotos]

How to spot classy guy: He's using the urinal while loudly saying into his cell phone, "Tell your sister I say hellooooo." #suave #debonaire

[Max Johnson @maxmakesphotos]

I am going to get 8 glorious hours of sleep tonight. So mote it be. #LivingTheDream #Literally #InAWay

[Max Johnson @maxmakesphotos]

You should be very wary of any "chicken sandwich" found while looting the body of a cannibal. #VideoGameWisdom #Witcher3

[Max Johnson @maxmakesphotos]

Sooo... signing a religion based refugee ban on Holocaust Remembrance Day... Stay classy @POTUS . Way to #MakeAmericaGreatAgain .

[Max Johnson @maxmakesphotos]

#whyimarch #womensmarch

[Max Johnson @maxmakesphotos]

Comparing 2008/2017 inauguration crowds is like pointing out how my tooth scratched the gold ring on the fist that put me in the hospital.

[Eclipse Phase @EclipsePhase]

The Eclipse Phase $0.99 New Year Sale is winding down!: https://t.co/vRZi2lkHfL

[Max Johnson @maxmakesphotos]

Things said in all seriousness. "I will give you this cardboard tube if you promise to share." #DadLife

[Max Johnson @maxmakesphotos]

Urgent PSA: Farcry 3: Blood Dragon is #Free for PC this month. It's bad 80s action movie on acid. The game. GET IT. https://t.co/1jGLkuQWxi

[Max Johnson @maxmakesphotos]

Dear early, extended, and month-long Black Friday Sales: You are officially doing it wrong. That's not how time works. #Accuracy #Pedantry

[Max Johnson @maxmakesphotos]

Listened to the radio on the way to work. Listening to 1 1/2 hours of quiet but unrestrained sobbing would have been less depressing.