Max™

*slaps roof of mouth*
This bad boy can fit so much peanut butter in it.
(He/Him)

[Max™ @MaxThyme]

I just remembered pinned posts are a thing!
•I like your stuff, but I literally can't see where the button is.
•Last time I tried to hunt around to find it twitter jailed me for using it too much. (I guess?)
•I now interact with twitter and y'all on my terms, not twitters.

[Max™ @MaxThyme]

@_B___S Someone is getting momma cat'D or EATEN, CHOOSE WISELY KITTY CAT

[Max™ @MaxThyme]

@Anxiousounce This was how I felt back in like '05 seeing that "George Bush doesn't care about black people" live, or flipping channels to see "I'm happy for you, and I'm gonna let you finish..." and ppl acting like I should know or care who this moron is.

[Max™ @MaxThyme]

@socialistdogmom "There's a lot of other stuff going on here,"

WHEW IS THERE

[Max™ @MaxThyme]

@dandylesbian Do not give up so easily and die here, you have the high ground, THIS IS THE HILL WHERE YOU WILL SLAY!

[Max™ @MaxThyme]

@buckfastbadlad @dandylesbian They're actually called leafs cities.

[Max™ @MaxThyme]

@pendulum_bot What the hell.

[Max™ @MaxThyme]

@TheCatSenate Could be worse, our cat Alfie (who we're 99% sure was a freaking Chantilly Tiffany somehow, especially because we had another living around the corner from us) had missus+nurse holding him for the thermometer and then they realized... he liked it and they could just let go.

[Max™ @MaxThyme]

@kortizart @kevin2kelly @glichfield @FlyingTrilobite @neilturkewitz @WIRED @sciam @atg_abhishek @GrzegorzRutko14 @samdoesarts @waxpancake This is why I was against it from the start, I love ARTISTS and what they make, mashing it together with enough math to pretend it is no longer theft was never cool dammit.

[Max™ @MaxThyme]

@MrJonCryer (getting your shit stomped with big heels and boots is an ever present fear for these bitch babies)

[Max™ @MaxThyme]

@CSMFHT kizer in the frizer?

[Max™ @MaxThyme]

@Rainmaker1973 If you do a boost wheelie off that wall to the left three bricks from the edge you can skip two checkpoints.

[Max™ @MaxThyme]

@emptywheel @mtaibbi What the hell I didn't know there was an eclipse today?

There isn't?

IT'S JUST THAT SHADE?!?!

[Max™ @MaxThyme]

@DitzyFlama NANOMACHINES, SON

[Max™ @MaxThyme]

@caslernoel Which is honestly hilarious and fine.

Just like Musk making a bitch of himself and ending up making the orange moron look cool by comparison when he didn't touch his reinstated account.

[Max™ @MaxThyme]

@shannonosaka What about if we all hunt down and eat billionaires, and then start in on regular CEO millionaires until their companies chill out on the emissions while trying to make regular people feel guilty for (barely) surviving?

I've long felt "personal CO2 footprint" ends in "air tax."

[Max™ @MaxThyme]

@clapifyoulikeme

[Max™ @MaxThyme]

@NoContextBrits Some say that guy finally lost his hold on his beer and fell along the road for half a mile before bouncing off a rubbish bin and cartwheeling into the sky, never to be heard from again.

[Max™ @MaxThyme]

@PaperWhispers *thinks fondly of an alternate timeline where they became the Sexlish, speak Sexlish, lived in Sexland, and Sexlicise things*

[Max™ @MaxThyme]

@Orbitaldropkick I know it isn't the appropriate music, but after I noticed another commercial using Libera Me from Hell I can't help but hear it in thematically appropriate moments and this very much feels like one.