Maxvivw

Medic, female, unattractive. Just some of the words which don't describe me.

[Maxvivw @maxvivw]

Whenever I get a called by an unrecognised number, I type it into Google. Have I ever got an answer from doing that? I have not. Will I continue to put it into Google? Yes.

[Maxvivw @maxvivw]

What happened to these things? The concord of toothpaste engineering!

[Maxvivw @maxvivw]

@get_pulped It’s not really a visual joke. It’s way more cerebral.

[Maxvivw @maxvivw]

‘Was this purchase worth it?’ I think as I cycle through the 18 settings my fairy lights offer looking for the non-seizure option.

[Asher Perlman @asherperlman]

Jessica Walters arriving in heaven, meeting St Peter, only to discover he is actually Gene Parmesan.

[Maxvivw @maxvivw]

@mralistairgreen @molliewintle

[Maxvivw @maxvivw]

Just overheard a northern couple on the tube complaining about Londoners not being talkative. A woman engaged them in conversation and proceeds to reveal she is deeply religious. She then blesses them IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TUBE. Never seen such regret in two peoples eyes!!!

[Maxvivw @maxvivw]

Why does my coat hanger look like Ian Mckellan?

[Maxvivw @maxvivw]

I've just learnt that Pret no longer do those apple cakes and I can't find a single piece of outrage about it online. #StartingAPetition

[Maxvivw @maxvivw]

@ChappellTracker @aoiph @molliewintle

[Maxvivw @maxvivw]

The wickedly talented...

[Maxvivw @maxvivw]

@lilymacks @dollyalderton I’m lost on this one lils

[Maxvivw @maxvivw]

If I was a girl I think my nightmare first date would be for the guy to show off on one of those public pianos you find in train stations and parks

[Maxvivw @maxvivw]

Michael Higgins greeting the Ireland and Scotland rugby teams looks like a year seven stumbled into the sixth form common room

[Maxvivw @maxvivw]

To all the guys who woke up this morning and thought ‘today is a good day to wear my peaky blinders cap’, you were all wrong. It’s never that day

[Maxvivw @maxvivw]

Just seen a man take out a mango and a plastic knife for his lunch. This is going to be fun for me I can feel it