Maxwasdead

Just a mild sexy annoyance

[Maxwasdead @maxwasdead]

Person: your not funny
Me: that’s like 50%true

[Maxwasdead @maxwasdead]

As a senior in high school, I just realized that I can talk about middle school in the past tense

[Maxwasdead @maxwasdead]

Would I be a burden on society if I asked for a cuddle buddy

[Maxwasdead @maxwasdead]

Is it kind of weird that one guy liked over 60 posts of mine overnight, from freshman year. I—🤭

[Maxwasdead @maxwasdead]

I don’t know about you but it seems really weird to me that someone can go through my Instagram and like pictures from freshman year

[Maxwasdead @maxwasdead]

....you can take about high school in the past tense?
Amazing

[Maxwasdead @maxwasdead]

A John Mulaney quote that lives in my head rent free

You have your law practice, and me, I have all these fucking markers.

[Maxwasdead @maxwasdead]

What does it feel like to have people other than your family say happy birthday.....
Asking for a friend

[Maxwasdead @maxwasdead]

Why am I watching Crash Course for fun.......

[Maxwasdead @maxwasdead]

Can someone explain to me why I have yet to listen to one of my favorite bands new album.
Anyone?

[Maxwasdead @maxwasdead]

9th graders are just 8th graders that forgot they don’t have seniority

[📈 @kevmar_]

Wow, a yt man also whipped out a sword at the Little Rock protest. Y’all take that Knight shit serious

[Maxwasdead @maxwasdead]

The only real recognition of art in the general community in this generation is on tick tok and it’s a time for the artists to shine, and I wanna hop into he train to paint my friends phone cases and shit but

1. All my friends are artists

2. I don’t have friends

[Maxwasdead @maxwasdead]

When The heats out all over school and it’s 40 outside

“Mom can you come get me”

[Maxwasdead @maxwasdead]

You don’t need to be scared to get your ass beat

[Maxwasdead @maxwasdead]

Do you ever wonder what is going on inside their head

*what if this guy is a mind reader. AAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAHHAAAAAAAAA*

[Maxwasdead @maxwasdead]

Don’t you hate it when your friend complains about their other friends not being real and not talking to you but they’re doing the exact some thing to you. Man it’s just the worst

[Maxwasdead @maxwasdead]

Me: if you were a birthday present what would you be
Gerry: a dick in a box

[Maxwasdead @maxwasdead]

@pizza_b0i Yeah a friend said that and I thought it was funny so I put it on the inter webs

[Maxwasdead @maxwasdead]

If I look in a mirror today I’m gonna cry

[Maxwasdead @maxwasdead]

Since Disney bought Fox, Dr. Frank N. Furter is now a Disney princess