Maya

sorry for tweeting every thought i have

[Maya @maya_kapi]

sometimes in life you have to accept that maybe you’re just too funny for people :/

[Maya @maya_kapi]

can’t tell if it’s poetic or a huge fuck you that it’s pouring in denver when yet another bad thing happened and we’ve been saying “when it rains it pours”

[Maya @maya_kapi]

how am i supposed to day drink and keep my lip combo on :/

[Maya @maya_kapi]

and blindly trusting whatever karely tells me to do

[Maya @maya_kapi]

me and my heating pad against the world

[Maya @maya_kapi]

i’m the skinniest i’ll ever be (because of food poisoning) and daniel can’t get a good picture of me im gonna divorce him

[Maya @maya_kapi]

and on the eve of my 30th birthday i threw out my back and couldn’t get up off the couch

[Maya @maya_kapi]

i can’t believe i got the worst cold of my life on my wedding day

[Maya @maya_kapi]

i am once again BEGGING for @NoahKahan tickets for jul 14 at wrigley field

[☔ @Whotfismick]

when your boss says "we'll get it done somehow" and you realize you're the somehow

[Maya @maya_kapi]

wedding day weather looks so bad my entire bridesmaid group chat is working together to keep me out of a mental institution

[Maya @maya_kapi]

needless to say he was not happy about that comment

[Maya @maya_kapi]

“oh so you’re like better at coding than AI” - me to my SWE husband today

[Maya @maya_kapi]

things i will never accept
1. not seeing the northern lights in alaska
2. missing bieberchella
i will be in denial about these two events for the rest of my life thank you for never bringing them up in front of me

[Maya @maya_kapi]

if i ever get the death sentence just send me to john summit open to close red rocks set

[Maya @maya_kapi]

i’m gonna kill myself

[Justin Bieber @justinbieber]

see you all soon

[Maya @maya_kapi]

maybe next march

[Maya @maya_kapi]

@Subtronics still not over missing red rocks cause of our wedding but we’re gonna throw a sick after party you should slide

[Maya @maya_kapi]

me neither i actually blacked out for 4 months

[Maya @maya_kapi]

remember when i was balls deep in wedding planning and working 70 hours a week and my dog almost died

[Maya @maya_kapi]

if you were invited to my wedding and you didn’t rsvp yet you’re uninvited