lord

… … …? …!!

[🍊 @kvohru]

might continue larping football even after the wc ngl im having fun

[lord @mayamiamya]

@harodmad81 Nuns have been sexualized for decades but it’s a problem when furries do it #yup

[Ozzny @Ozzny_CS2]

In the new Shelter map in CS2 instead of rescuing hostages you rescue... dogs 🐶

[𝕭𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖎𝖊✨ @Bennieeexyz]

Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat.

Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records.

My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now.

Called the county clerk.

Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty.

Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons?

Me: Yes, but he's a cat.

Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county?

Me: He's a legal cat.

Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption.

Me: He can't file anything. He has paws.

Clerk: You can file on his behalf.

Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat."

Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons."

Me: What's the medical reason?

Clerk: He's a cat.

Me: That's not a medical condition.

Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving.

Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later.

"Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement."

Took the letter to my vet.

Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty.

Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty?

Me: Excellent question. No good answer.

Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten.

Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve?

Vet: On what grounds?

Me: He's a cat.

Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings."

Me: Perfect.

Sent it in. Got another rejection.

"Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court."

My roommate thought this was hilarious.

Roommate: Felix is going to jail.

Me: This is serious.

Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens.

Decided that was actually the only option left.

Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters.

Checked in at the courthouse.

Clerk: Name?

Me: Felix Martinez.

Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix?

Me: Yes.

Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat.

Me: I've been saying that for six weeks.

Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption?

Me: I filed three. All rejected.

Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief.

Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation?

Me: Twice.

Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this.

Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me.

Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote?

Me: You tell me.

Supervisor: This is a data error.

Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out.

They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience.

Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry.

Me: Appreciate it.

Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted?

Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats.

Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card.

For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was.

Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud.

Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent.

Roommate: That's what they all say.

Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now.

Fitting end to his legal career.

[Mark “Rent boy” Renton @litebeerasschug]

alcohol is 10x worse for you than weed but stoners are the biggest fags on the planet so really it’s a moot point

[lord @mayamiamya]

@BluebriarArts i mean they announced it suuuper super far in advance and told players several times it was going to be limited. Copyright sucks sure but you had plenty of time to get the resources for it

[lord @mayamiamya]

@Argo__RF This looks so good!!! Can I use this as a pfp later on?

[Legion Hoops @LegionHoops]

JUST IN: The Milwaukee Bucks will be retiring No. 34 in honor of Giannis Antetokounmpo, per @JWeinbachNBA

Legend.

[Kylian Mbappé @KMbappe]

Madame Celeste Amarilla,
Vous êtes une femme méprisable et indigne de sa fonction.
Vous ne représentez pas le Paraguay, ce pays qui a transpiré la passion et l’honneur tout au long de la compétition. Par votre inconscience et votre racisme décomplexé, le monde entier a déjà oublié le parcours et l’effort historique que vos joueurs ont réalisés durant cette coupe du monde pour laisser place à une dame incompétente donnant la pire image possible de son pays.
Je ne laisserai jamais aux gens comme elle, la liberté de laisser propager leur haine et leur racisme à travers le monde.

[lord @mayamiamya]

@ShamsCharania Damn what? I figured he was still hooping

[Pop Base @PopBase]

LGBTQ+ activist and icon Marsha P. Johnson died 34 years ago today.

Her body was discovered floating in the Hudson River, with her exact cause of death remaining unsolved.

[iDrawsometimes @PromTimepiece]

A Limbus Animation to a Ruina song by Mili….

[AAA饼干狗葱饼批发市场 @bingoubing1]

How To Be A Human Being

[Narkan 𔓙 𖥂 ⛨ @nuke_edmonton]

this and a goth mommy with a freaking white monster and a giga cased zyn 😂😂😂😂 (repost if you can relate)