Call me Legs.

Coffee addict extraodinare. Slighty neurotic, completely sarcastic. Laughs at everything. Not your typical #princess. Everyday is #terrificladyday.

[Call me Legs. @MayhemShmayhem]

Happy Veteran’s Day, Lt. #SaluteToService 🇺🇸❤️

[Call me Legs. @MayhemShmayhem]

Something to keep things lively as #TheFed raises interest rates today.. again. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Thanks to @MorningBrew

[Call me Legs. @MayhemShmayhem]

Hey @TomAhink - I didn’t realize you were doing social media clapbacks for @JimmysSeafood #clapbackchampion

[Jimmy’s Famous Seafood @JimmysSeafood]

.@peta you mad?

[Call me Legs. @MayhemShmayhem]

Me at Starbucks*
Barista: “hot or iced?”
Me: “hiced. What the eff.”
Barista: 😑

[Call me Legs. @MayhemShmayhem]

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck. I am Apple’s little bitch. They get me every 👏🏼 single 👏🏼 time 👏🏼

[Call me Legs. @MayhemShmayhem]

@Starbucks “Are you sure you don’t want one of our specialty drinks to use your rewards on?”
KJ: “...unsweetened iced coffee is fine.” 😑 #whole30problems

[Call me Legs. @MayhemShmayhem]

Watching a #NKOTBSB concert rerun & my 14-year old self can barely keep it together. Shamelessly squealed at ‘I Want It That Way’ & woke up my sleeping 2 month old.

[Call me Legs. @MayhemShmayhem]

People who smoke around children don’t deserve children.

[Call me Legs. @MayhemShmayhem]

Hahaha - hate on haters! No idea why everyone’s getting so worked up over a random person’s opinion. Just justifying my extreme dislike for cyclists, I guess. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Call me Legs. @MayhemShmayhem]

#wheresmyhusband #peoplepaidforthis #whatdidimarry

[Call me Legs. @MayhemShmayhem]

I FUCKING HATE CYCLISTS! 🤬

[Call me Legs. @MayhemShmayhem]

That’s our little girl. 💪🏼 @RustyHink

[Call me Legs. @MayhemShmayhem]

#UnbreakableKimmySchmidt is one of the best shows ever. Thank you, @netflix !

[Call me Legs. @MayhemShmayhem]

@RustyHink @cw_spn

[Call me Legs. @MayhemShmayhem]

Accurate. 😒 https://t.co/bIDtTStpj0

[Rusty Hayseed @RustyHayseed]

Me when my wife offers me a bite of whatever she’s eating...cc @MayhemShmayhem https://t.co/gd04xV4Jgb

[Call me Legs. @MayhemShmayhem]

Such an accomplishing feeling when you’re able to help your baby relieve gas & make her tummy feel better. I love being a mom. #priorities

[Call me Legs. @MayhemShmayhem]

🤣That’s my girl! https://t.co/cQ8tqyoWGB

[Rusty Hayseed @RustyHayseed]

Idk if I could be prouder of my baby girl Ava Marie right now. She was a little whiny and fussing then full stop, locked eyes w/ me & proceeded to loudly unload into her diaper while staring into my soul. She then used my exact same smirk against me.

[Call me Legs. @MayhemShmayhem]

It’s so crazy how I grew up when hanging out at the mall was the coolest thing in the world. And now, malls are ghost towns.. #myhowthingshavechanged

[Call me Legs. @MayhemShmayhem]

Shoutout to @RustyHink for being an amazing husband & kicking me out of the house for a mani/pedi. #theabsolutebest

[Call me Legs. @MayhemShmayhem]

Wakanda sometimes. 😡