(not) Mayor Cranley

Putting the MAN in mandate. Cincinnati Mayor-ish. (Parody)

[(not) Mayor Cranley @MayorCranley]

Seriously, guise, if you can't stop using the streetcars so much, maybe we should replace them with buses. Glorious, wonderful buses.

[(not) Mayor Cranley @MayorCranley]

Hey, Cincinnati, our streetcars are so packed they're causing operational delays. I told you'd they'd be a headache! https://t.co/5AeoyIvvcL

[(not) Mayor Cranley @MayorCranley]

This is completely, totally, and wholly wrong. The correct word is "crap."

[(not) Mayor Cranley @MayorCranley]

In order to ensure that no unsafe people move into Cincinnati, I want to study the idea of building a giant wall around the city. Or a moat.

[(not) Mayor Cranley @MayorCranley]

I want Cincinnati to be immigrant-friendly, but only for immigrants from the right places (wink, wink) https://t.co/sQQo0lBD28

[(not) Mayor Cranley @MayorCranley]

Lesson learned: I can kill anything simply by publicly supporting it. Hmm...shall I use this new superpower for good or evil?

[(not) Mayor Cranley @MayorCranley]

@jamespilcher @CincyParks @JohnCranley @Enquirer Polling irregularities...that's my guess.

[(not) Mayor Cranley @MayorCranley]

It's too bad that polling irregularities kept voters' true wishes from being known. #parkslevy #saveourparks

[(not) Mayor Cranley @MayorCranley]

But...but...I had a mandate!

[(not) Mayor Cranley @MayorCranley]

So what is the opposition's plan to pay for the parks' maintenance and the new bike trails and everything? [crickets]

[(not) Mayor Cranley @MayorCranley]

Well, the "park opponents" won this round. Next time, my proposal will be to fund animal shelters. Will "puppy opponents" emerge???

[(not) Mayor Cranley @MayorCranley]

@derekbauman @ryanlammi @SharonCoolidge @Arnoldsbar @jamespilcher "Park opponents"...what a curious moniker.

[(not) Mayor Cranley @MayorCranley]

No pot dispensaries. No new bike trails. What the hell, Cincinnati? It's almost as if you DON'T want to be Portland.

[(not) Mayor Cranley @MayorCranley]

Instead of a tax levy, how about we just sell off some parks to pay for maintaining the other parks? Is that preferable?

[(not) Mayor Cranley @MayorCranley]

People distrust me so much that they're willing to undermine Cincinnati's amazing parks just to ensure I have less influence.

[(not) Mayor Cranley @MayorCranley]

Has this gotten any better in the past two weeks? http://t.co/wHFqiCL3uw

[(not) Mayor Cranley @MayorCranley]

The City will NOT agree on sewer policies until Ham Cty Comm'r @greghartmann ALSO has some sort of phallic food named after him.

[(not) Mayor Cranley @MayorCranley]

The #streetcar extended from Downtown to Uptown? Great...ANOTHER project to undermine. :^[ So busy this time of year. http://t.co/pF2XdtEEdw

[(not) Mayor Cranley @MayorCranley]

@ScottDean24 @liebermans Is that "he IS a" or "he HAS a" ... hard to tell with contractions sometimes, you know.

[(not) Mayor Cranley @MayorCranley]

I heard Metro sold out all of those #streetcar "Founder's Club" passes. So did @RyanMesser just buy them all himself? Seems a bit greedy.