Ryan Hemauer

🐈‍⬛ daddy, Marketing PhD student, IT Architect, incessant questioner, lover of philosophy #payItForward

[Ryan Hemauer @mbarbh]

Awww, an office worker just said to me, "We want to start the relationship with the new vendor on the right foot and not give them bad Jew juice [sic erat locutus]."

I'm a bit concerned this is what she meant.

[Ryan Hemauer @mbarbh]

@Wendys interesting that you haven't made a statement yet about the @KITKAT heist.

[Romeo @Romeosoho]

this is how you know the editors at disney are straight cause how didn’t they catch miley saying “cunt” 😭

[Ryan Hemauer @mbarbh]

@emerome @pastaravioli Congrats!

[Lincoln Square @LincolnSquareHQ]

If you’re looking for a masterclass in 'Rules for Thee, but Not for Me,' look no further.

[Ryan Hemauer @mbarbh]

Your people will be safe, @HMoonCrab

[Ed Krassenstein @EdKrassen]

Minneapolis has a new anthem!

“Hey Kristi Noem…. I wanna knoooooow why you’re such a c-nt!”

Kinda catchy.

[Junkyard129 @Junkyard129]

I hand paint everything and you can order your #Rayquaza today at https://t.co/YW3Y2RNT92

[Ryan Hemauer @mbarbh]

@pastaravioli Mabel!!!!

[Ryan Hemauer @mbarbh]

I'm curious why chalant is missing from the dictionary, @MerriamWebster. Care to elaborate?

[Ryan Hemauer @mbarbh]

Even though she will never see this, I just want to say that @ladygaga is just a genuinely good human being.

[Ryan Hemauer @mbarbh]

@Hytale Well we know where @Albi_SideArms will be now.

[Tom Morello @tmorello]

Our “Concert of Solidarity & Resistance to DEFEND MINNESOTA” was a all timer. #IceOutNow #DestroyAmericanFascism #ArrestThePresident

[Ryan Hemauer @mbarbh]

Everything Burns!!

[Ed Krassenstein @EdKrassen]

Tom Morello of Rage Against the Machine showed up to protest in Minneapolis.

“I don��t live here. I’m an outside agitator. I’ve come to stir up trouble. We are here to stir up as much trouble as we can because we care about this country, democracy, freedom and to oppose tyranny, racism and the incredibly horrible state terror that the Trump administration is inflicting on our country.”

[Ryan Hemauer @mbarbh]

@iFooYa The comedian Sarah Milligan has a whole set about how she almost suffocated her dog I think. I recommend listening to her, when you're not being everyone's funniest friend that is.

[Ryan Hemauer @mbarbh]

@LindseyGrahamSC stop being a greedy monger. Trump won't tell your secrets even if you do your job!!

[Ryan Hemauer @mbarbh]

Am I bad for saying that a much cheaper alternative (and lower medical costs overall) would be just shaving her head.

[Brandy Lee @Breelee420]

So let’s get this straight. We can’t even get sedation for spine injections and nerve burnings but you can get sedation to untangle your hair 🥴🤣😵‍💫 America

[Keith Edwards @keithedwards]

"If they showed [the Melania documentary] on a plane, people would still walk out." - Variety

Brutal.

[Rep. Gwen Moore @RepGwenMoore]

My office is committed to supporting adult literacy services. Please contact my office for assistance.

[Ryan Hemauer @mbarbh]

@HMoonCrab Any self-help books you can recommend for us needing to construct a new personality? Or do we just need to wait for an organic switch?