Mic

[Mic @mbeucs]

Wish I could glow up like banana bread during quarantine

[Mic @mbeucs]

A 5yr old I work with was telling me about her “favorite things” today & she told me her favorite meal was salad. I was like “thats a very healthy choice!” She then proceeded to tell me that she likes ordering her salad with no veggies & just croutons and if that ain’t the TRUTH

[Mic @mbeucs]

Target dollar section is a hell of a drug

[Mic @mbeucs]

@t_aliphoenix Wait I’m just seeing this I’m the worst but HAHAHA so glad we’re out of that shit hole 👏👏 we need to celebrate with happy hour soon 🤩

[Mic @mbeucs]

Looking back, one of my biggest regrets is not making a drinking game out of everytime Hannah said “clarity” #BachelorNation

[Mic @mbeucs]

My biggest flaw is when I have nothing to do so I go to Target and spend 8 million dollars because “it was on sale!!”

[Mic @mbeucs]

Nobody:

Literally not a single soul:

Moe’s employee: WELCOMETOMOOoooOoOOESSSS🌯🌯🌯🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮

[Mic @mbeucs]

Little late to the game with that one Netflix

[Mic @mbeucs]

Just went to Chick-fil-a to grab a little breakfast & the employee said he could tell I wasn’t having a great morning and gave me my meal for free. LET ME TELL U, if the rest of the world acted with the same kindness as a Chick-fil-a employee we would have a lot less problems.

[Mic @mbeucs]

I just bumped into an Old Navy mannequin and said “oh sorry! excuse me!” so that’s where I’m at today

[Mic @mbeucs]

When I was 16 I had one of those extra Sweet 16 parties and we told everyone to dress in black or white and then I showed up in a bright blue sparkly rhinestoned dress & that is my mood for 2019

[Mic @mbeucs]

@LivDelaney8 I’m loling

[Mic @mbeucs]

@LivDelaney8 Pittsburgh misses you!! ❤️

[Mic @mbeucs]

Nice, polite girl sitting next to me on the plane this morning got out her phone when we landed and proceeded to call the contact saved in her phone as“ Daddyy👅🍆💕💦💦” and then had a 10 min conversation with said person about IHOP pancake thickness. It’s always the quiet ones.

[Mic @mbeucs]

This didn’t go as planned ...

[Mic @mbeucs]

Wow thank god for the price reduction these were almost out of my budget!!!

??????????????

[Mic @mbeucs]

I wish I was as passionate about something as moms are about posting on Facebook

[Mic @mbeucs]

When you go to get a Mcflurry damn well knowing they’re going to tell you the ice cream machines broken but you get your hopes up anyway only to be told the machine is broken

[Mic @mbeucs]

This morning I was driving behind a school bus & the cute little kids were waving at me & I was waving back, so precious. All of a sudden Augustus Gloop appears from the middle aisle, flips me off, flashes me, and proceeds to sit back down. It’s 2 hrs later and I’m still shook.

[Mic @mbeucs]

Sometimes I’ll be drinking and I’ll accidentally bang my glass too hard against my phone or the table or whatever and it will make a ding noise and then I’m just like “oh, cheers!” and I’ll take another sip, and I think that’s my best quality