MB🧠

sc: mollysmalls3

[MB🧠 @MbSmalls3]

aunt jemima is my spirit animal

[reb @rebmasel]

what I like about hippos being the most dangerous animal in the world: they’re vegetarian. not even omnivores. they don’t want to eat you, they just hate you. and I think that’s a beautiful thing

[Dave Jorgenson @davejorgenson]

2000+ years ago a baby was born in Bethlehem and now my dog celebrates the first 24 days of December with a dog treat calendar.

[pj @pjayevans]

It sucks you can’t google something happening in your life. What does my neighbor Derek do for work

[UCF Football @UCF_Football]

Most points in #SpaceU game history 🚀

[sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy]

One minute you’re young and carefree and the next you’re the person who falls asleep on the couch after dinner and says “I was just resting my eyes for a minute."

[Roshay C. @roshaycherice]

We only go through what we allow, and I'm done allowing a lot of shit.

[MB🧠 @MbSmalls3]

that’s why I’m leaving Jim Thorpe

[AC @burgwhatup]

@survivorcbs That’s Ned Schneebly

[Deep Fried Twinkie @deepfriedtwinke]

I knew the queen died before the BBC did because the irish blood inside me vibrated like an amber alert

[Caleb @timesofcaleb]

Twitter is always at its funniest when the world is in disarray.

[gill @contactabrother]

if i had a penis i would put the tatted fruit roll ups on it

[Sonya 💜 @SimplyySonyaa]

If you're having a bad day, just remember someone is dating your ex and thinking they got lucky 😂

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

last night I told my four year old I loved her and she said “I love you so much that if someone chopped your head off I’d carry it around forever in a bag”

[aubs @aubrionna]

the best part of healing is when u realize your ex is a loser

[the big homie @thelargehomie]

fashion used to mean something

[ꜱᴊ 🦋 @_shantavia]

I do enjoy being alone tho, like my mind be at peace.

[Brenda 🌻 @PlvinJvnex__]

I feel like god accidentally puts people in my life like “oops wrong person” “lemme get them out real quick” 😂😂

[Hon. @K_Osayi]

If you’re feeling down, text your mum.

[miss u @piranha732]

this woman just farted so loud in the bathroom i could just feel she was embarrassed so i farted back just to make her not feel so alone