Hamburglaretta

[Hamburglaretta @mburgerson]

Me exactly 8 minutes and 38 seconds into a Cinderella story: you know, they just don’t make good movies anymore…

[Hamburglaretta @mburgerson]

I know I haven’t tweeted in months maybe over a year but Karl just said TMJ stands for too much jaw and I have to get that in writing

[Hamburglaretta @mburgerson]

Where the heart is was based off my life story

[Hamburglaretta @mburgerson]

This picture haunts me every like 2-3 months. Everyone is so creative!!!

[Hamburglaretta @mburgerson]

@brujaux That’s the part of this photo you take issue with lol

[Hamburglaretta @mburgerson]

@brujaux Lmao literally

[Hamburglaretta @mburgerson]

@brujaux

[Hamburglaretta @mburgerson]

Why is a can of chickpeas $7 y’all I’m gonna fucking lose it

[Hamburglaretta @mburgerson]

Subway having the audacity to send me a survey asking about my experience from the hacker that used my card to order a footlong chicken bacon ranch

[Hamburglaretta @mburgerson]

Junie B. Jones was mentally ill

[Hamburglaretta @mburgerson]

Me watching lord of the rings for the first time last night: its kind of like Ella Enchanted

[Queens of Bravo @queensofbravo]

You know this was Andy’s favorite moment from the #RHOSLC Reunion. It’s a lot 😂

[Hamburglaretta @mburgerson]

Sometimes I start crushing on guys with beards but then I remember that the second they shave they’re gonna look like Randall from monsters inc.

[Hamburglaretta @mburgerson]

@peenhoegrigio One time after babysitting a group of children I got hand foot and mouth disease

[Hamburglaretta @mburgerson]

Reese Witherspoon cumming on a roller coaster in the movie Fear.. she walked so Cassie could run

[shook ☆ @vivalasdrag]

In Conclusion…
Nina Bonina Banana FoFanna Osama Bin Laden Brown should’ve been Blac Chyna. (8/8)

[Hamburglaretta @mburgerson]

Where my fellow June 2022 corona girlies at

[Hamburglaretta @mburgerson]

@allstarAT Lmao you’re right, I upgraded to a waterfall shower

[Hamburglaretta @mburgerson]

This is what $1200 a month gets you in Austin 🤪

[Hamburglaretta @mburgerson]

Saw my ex at the bar last night, happy to report he still looks like he lives under a highway 😊