Cal

Writing songs is difficult. Talking shit is easy.

[Cal @mcallaghan10]

I need a THICC girl:

Trusting
Hardworking
Intelligent
Creative
Can provide for me financially

[Cal @mcallaghan10]

@msupeach I’m so ready to hate him and Loyer for the next 2 to 5 years

[Cal @mcallaghan10]

You might be “in a committed and loving relationship” with my buddy but I’m in his DMs hyping him the fuck up

[Cal @mcallaghan10]

I was so brave to not look up the menu before going to a restaurant

[Cal @mcallaghan10]

Just saw a man order chicken tenders at the bar

[Cal @mcallaghan10]

This man on the street, biggest man I’ve ever seen, he came up to me and he said, with tears in his eyes “Sir you must release the drafts. They don’t want you to but you must!”

[Cal @mcallaghan10]

World Series of Reading Plots on Wikipedia

[Cal @mcallaghan10]

@msupeach Told you super lasik

[Cal @mcallaghan10]

@msupeach I’m getting super LASIK after this and Bears-Broncos tomorrow

[Cal @mcallaghan10]

On my Regina George shit*

*eating things I think are healthy but actually aren’t

[Cal @mcallaghan10]

@kathleenkatkath They’re the sacrifices needed for Mobo to return

[Cal @mcallaghan10]

The lesson, as always, is fuck Urban Meyer

[Cal @mcallaghan10]

@kehh0410 @kaaaaaarllll I like to think you had at least 2 fun weekends there

[Cal @mcallaghan10]

Has Boulder ever recovered those stolen mattresses?

[Cal @mcallaghan10]

New Year so time to release the drafts in order to start anew as a Pioneer Woman reply guy

[Cal @mcallaghan10]

Taylor’s new album has zero Bobs Burgers sound clips so it’s a thumbs down from me

[Cal @mcallaghan10]

@kathleenkatkath @TJOBrien723 It was that and Hot Hot Heat back to back