Dad The Joke Man

Joke Writer/Wrestling Fan/Father of 3/Forward Slash Enthusiast

[Dad The Joke Man @mccarthyjokes]

Matt Gaetz was most pumped for the AG nomination because in between A and G is A minor.

[Dad The Joke Man @mccarthyjokes]

They've really done a number on Hydroxy chloroquine and Ivermectin, but I think the far left's opinion on the best medicine is a more significant factor in RFK getting his job.

[Dad The Joke Man @mccarthyjokes]

Well we can't get Michael Buffer. We can't get Bruce Buffer. How about Buffering?

[Dad The Joke Man @mccarthyjokes]

Leo DiCaprio turns 50 today and if you're his girlfriend, that's this many 👐👐👐👐👐

[Dad The Joke Man @mccarthyjokes]

Narcan is the Uno Reverse card but it's for Dos.

[Dad The Joke Man @mccarthyjokes]

Who gets misgendered more? Trans women that are good at sports or Cis men that are bad at them?

[Dad The Joke Man @mccarthyjokes]

Butter is whipped cream that didn't give up.

[Dad The Joke Man @mccarthyjokes]

A good spouse will help you up when you fall flat on your ass. A great one yells "5 second rule!".

[Dad The Joke Man @mccarthyjokes]

Ever bought something from a vending machine just because it was directly over a dangling stuck item and even though you don't really want either selection you're still willing to gamble $1.75 on a chance of a 2 for 1?

[Dad The Joke Man @mccarthyjokes]

The Paul brothers are Cleveland streamers.

[Dad The Joke Man @mccarthyjokes]

Bluey is Bleu Nuit without the "NNNN" sound, yet still has a more satisfying finish.

[Dad The Joke Man @mccarthyjokes]

One time I wished it was 11:12 and it came true damn near immediately.

[Dad The Joke Man @mccarthyjokes]

A swear jar is the closest I'll ever come to Fuck You money.

[Dad The Joke Man @mccarthyjokes]

Trump shouldn't be lying about folks eating pets in Springfield. He should be singing a super catchy song about turning them into a vest.

[Dad The Joke Man @mccarthyjokes]

You can complain about tax dollars going toward feeding migrants. You can complain that the SPCA is overcrowded. You can't do both.

[Dad The Joke Man @mccarthyjokes]

I want to publish a gentle parenting guide printed only on recycled wooden spoons.

[Dad The Joke Man @mccarthyjokes]

My pronouns are him/his but that's neither her nor their.

[Dad The Joke Man @mccarthyjokes]

C Pap? Is there another kind?

[Dad The Joke Man @mccarthyjokes]

It's a shame the Minecraft movie didn't come out 15 years ago. Would have been perfect for Blockbuster.

[Dad The Joke Man @mccarthyjokes]

All the times Oasis said they'd never reunite they should have said Maaaaybeeee.