johnmccombscomedy

Comedian, Traveler, The Hormone Monster to your jokes

[johnmccombscomedy @mccombscomedy]

“Why do women find Pete Davidson so attractive?”

- Guy who’s been in 0 movies and makes $45,000 a year

[johnmccombscomedy @mccombscomedy]

I thought I wasn’t that out of touch with music and then I thought Dolph Lundgren died today.

[johnmccombscomedy @mccombscomedy]

Nothing will anger a woman like not matching her texting energy.

-400 level relationship tip

[johnmccombscomedy @mccombscomedy]

“War or some shit. I dunno, John Cena is in it.”

-Netflix fully giving up on naming their original content.

[johnmccombscomedy @mccombscomedy]

@TheCryptoLark This is what edging is like

[johnmccombscomedy @mccombscomedy]

@TheCryptoLark

[johnmccombscomedy @mccombscomedy]

@GianmarcoSoresi This is the only gig you should’ve accepted while you had COVID

[johnmccombscomedy @mccombscomedy]

Not a single person who reposted that Sue Bird vs Lebron James salary comparison has said anything about the Chicago Sky winning the championship. YOU are the problem.

[johnmccombscomedy @mccombscomedy]

As someone who routinely forgets to cancel before the end of the free trial I feel specifically targeted by heartbeat bills.

[johnmccombscomedy @mccombscomedy]

Edge lord comics should approach comedy like jazz: “it’s about the jokes you don’t say.”

[johnmccombscomedy @mccombscomedy]

Somewhere out there there is a beautiful woman with a lot of cleavage who just joined Facebook and is wondering why only losers are accepting her friend requests

[johnmccombscomedy @mccombscomedy]

Be nice to your artist friends. You never know which of them one day may be bartending at a bar you like

[johnmccombscomedy @mccombscomedy]

I’m just imagining the ass chewing a taking place over at Mark Zuckerberg’s office right now.

[johnmccombscomedy @mccombscomedy]

My goal is to have a drunk tweet with 10 likes used to pad out a listicle by a lazy journalist on @BuzzFeed or @FanSided

[johnmccombscomedy @mccombscomedy]

Youtube:
“Ok, we’ll keep letting you skip our 30 second ads but how about we just give you two 15 second ones instead?”

You:
“Ok…wait, what?”

[johnmccombscomedy @mccombscomedy]

@wclemente

[johnmccombscomedy @mccombscomedy]

White People: OMG! Sweater weather!

Black People:

[johnmccombscomedy @mccombscomedy]

Do you ever burp with your mask on after drinking beer just to see if you can still feel anything?

[Ronnie Ray @RonnieRayComedy]

#GoodTimes #Tonight @thelincolnlodge for #ronnierayandtheunderdogsofcomedyshow it was the best show that didn’t happen.

#Shoutout to @sonalagrawal237 @Talentjf @marztimms (who is not in any of this pictures) and @mccombscomedy for falling through. Nothing but #LoveandRespect

[johnmccombscomedy @mccombscomedy]

I’m pro mask but is anything sadder than a fully-bearded man with a tiny mask?