Patrick McCristoff

New Yorker From Way Back | Not a hater | Attorney for the @nyknicks | Do NOT Raise my Cortisol | @mets enthusiast

[Patrick McCristoff @mccristoff]

“Plumbers make a ton of money”

[Patrick McCristoff @mccristoff]

If a girl has a profile photo on snapchat, run far and hide. She’s going.
#run

[Patrick McCristoff @mccristoff]

If you’re in New York at the parade and you’re looking to pee, come to think coffee near Union Square I’m sitting by the bathroom and the password: 3672 #parade #pee #boner

[Patrick McCristoff @mccristoff]

If you’re in New York at the parade and you’re looking to pee, come to think coffee near Union Square I’m sitting by the bathroom and the password: 3672 #parade #pee #boner

[Patrick McCristoff @mccristoff]

Knicks win has me feeling extra steamy— bad night to be my wife

[Patrick McCristoff @mccristoff]

Followers, fellow met fans,

Last night I got tired and left the game in the fifth inning, this is my greatest regret

LGM,

Pat

[Patrick McCristoff @mccristoff]

Followers, fellow met fans,

Last night I got tired and left the game in the fifth inning, this is my greatest regret

LGM,

Pat

[Patrick McCristoff @mccristoff]

Not to be weird- the video is not off the internet.

[New York Post @nypost]

Will Levis spent 'exorbitant' amount of money to make sex tape 'go away' https://t.co/txFpNUezSv

[Patrick McCristoff @mccristoff]

Here’s the deal: when you ask me “how are you” and I say “good how are you” don’t say “hanging in there” say “good”

[Patrick McCristoff @mccristoff]

Too early for World Series talks? #LGM

[New York Mets @Mets]

Welcome to the Big Leagues, kid 🤩

[Patrick McCristoff @mccristoff]

Peralta is a cuck. #LGM #Mets

[Patrick McCristoff @mccristoff]

what the hell why is khamzat so happy go lucky i want to see him murderous

[Patrick McCristoff @mccristoff]

When I walk through my local melting pot in my #Mets shirt, I feel pitied… #miserable

[Patrick McCristoff @mccristoff]

Just found out Anthony Bourdain killed himself years ago, I’m devastated don’t come near me. #terriblenews

[Patrick McCristoff @mccristoff]

It’s time to address the elephant in the room. Ghost wipes don’t exist- yall just have stinky sphincters which get one swipe and then are left to crust. #disgusting

[Patrick McCristoff @mccristoff]

Look guys, if you don't want us #mets fans to boo our own players, don't get struck out eight times in a row. #comeonnow

[Patrick McCristoff @mccristoff]

Juan Soto is just out here carrying out a heist from the #Mets organization #smfh

[Patrick McCristoff @mccristoff]

@tworingsbaldy I hate you because you are stupid

[Patrick McCristoff @mccristoff]

This woman in purple needs to be fired yesterday #marchmadness #MBB

[Patrick McCristoff @mccristoff]

Next person who tells me it’s 1 in 9.2 Quintillion gets slimed #perfectbracket