Nicole Melnyk

comic. @dogcomicproductions & @mcfancyvonpants on IG. follow me on everything, please.

[Nicole Melnyk @mcfancyvonpants]

When people I look up to like my clips I don’t worry about SHIT for the rest of the day!!!

[Nicole Melnyk @mcfancyvonpants]

For some reason whenever I'm asked to smell check milk I cannot even fathom a semblance of what milk is supposed to smell like

[Nicole Melnyk @mcfancyvonpants]

@richie_tweets @ThoughtsByLogan Yea

[Nicole Melnyk @mcfancyvonpants]

I bet cave people had the dirtiest fingernails

[Nicole Melnyk @mcfancyvonpants]

Vine was our Woodstock

[Nicole Melnyk @mcfancyvonpants]

Do you say multee or multie?

[Nicole Melnyk @mcfancyvonpants]

Am I man or a woman? Dude, im a comic.

[Nicole Melnyk @mcfancyvonpants]

The ONLY hetero couple I support is simba and nala... oh, and my parents, I guess

[Nicole Melnyk @mcfancyvonpants]

All the bad reviews for love, actually on rotten tomato sound like they definitely got dumped on Christmas

[Nicole Melnyk @mcfancyvonpants]

My 5yo neph won't me up at the beginning of a sex dream. Bruh I'm never having kids

[Nicole Melnyk @mcfancyvonpants]

You can lead a comic to showcase but you can't make him funny

[Nicole Melnyk @mcfancyvonpants]

I like dating bisexual women bc its only winning if I beat everybody

[Nicole Melnyk @mcfancyvonpants]

Budgeting in your 30s like: I can either afford 1 oculus headset or 3 straps ons

[Nicole Melnyk @mcfancyvonpants]

What the fuck even was writing in cursive?!

[Nicole Melnyk @mcfancyvonpants]

The real comedy is the comedy we comedy along the comedy

[Nicole Melnyk @mcfancyvonpants]

The real comedy is the comedy we comedy along the comedy

[Nicole Melnyk @mcfancyvonpants]

"Whose got you smiling at your phone?" Carpet cleaning videos

[Nicole Melnyk @mcfancyvonpants]

Quiet quiting in server is just stealing until u get caught

[Nicole Melnyk @mcfancyvonpants]

I'm not overwhelmed, I'm just not high

[Nicole Melnyk @mcfancyvonpants]

"2 hour drive to the show" do you mean a full cry sesh??