James Fibbens

Brexit poisons everything and eventually meets reality.

[Chris Robinson @ChrisRobinsonNJ]

@RpsAgainstTrump Yes, no one could have seen this coming except for all the people who saw this coming.

[Reform Party Watch @WatchReform]

Who owns @Nigel_Farage?

[Parody Nigel Farage @Parody_PM]

I’ve made £2 million in side hustles since becoming an MP.
So I make as much in a month from these other interests as I do in a year from my MP salary.
And then there’s the £5m I got for becoming an MP.
In case you weren't sure where my priorities lie.

[Republicans against Trump @RpsAgainstTrump]

77 million people voted for this deranged buffoon

[Very Brexit Problems @VeryBrexitProbs]

The Nigel Farage Guide to Being a Working-Class Hero

Step 1: Be born to a City stockbroker.

Step 2: Attend Dulwich College, fees currently £53,000 a year.

Step 3: Skip university. Become a City commodities trader instead.

Step 4: Run one of your metal broking firms into insolvency.

Step 5: Get elected to the European Parliament. Spend the next 21 years drawing a salary from the institution you're paid to dismantle.

Step 6: Claim £15,500 a year in expenses for an office your party was given rent-free.

Step 7: Put your wife on the EU parliamentary payroll. Take her off only when the rules force you to.

Step 8: Get investigated by the EU's anti-fraud office. Eventually have half your MEP salary docked to repay misused public funds.

Step 9: Throw a Brexit victory party at the Ritz. Decry the "professional political class" to a room of millionaires.

Step 10: Take £450,000 in personal gifts from Arron Banks. House. Car. Lifestyle.

Step 11: Take £5 million, undisclosed, from a Bangkok-based crypto billionaire. Days later, announce you're standing for parliament after all.

Step 12: Win Clacton. Take the £93,904 MP salary. Add £1.2 million a year from GB News at £2,300 an hour. Become the highest-earning MP in the House of Commons.

Step 13: Speak in parliament fewer times than any other party leader. Fly to America at least nine times in your first year. Refuse to hold in-person constituency surgeries. Holiday in France while parliament is sitting.

Step 14: Tell the working class you're one of them. Tell them to vote against their own interests, over and over again.

Pint, mate?

[Alethea Bernard @Tush27J]

Richard Tice. Tax dodger.
Nadhim Zahawi. Tax dodger.
Nigel Farage. Tax dodger.
Robert Jenrick. Claimed dodgy expenses for third home. Sacked by Boris Johnson.
Nathan Gill. Currently residing at HM prison.

Yep. Reform UK. A political party for working people.

[Roshan Rinaldi @Roshan_Rinaldi]

Taxpayers’ Tab for Donald Trump’s Golf Habit Crosses $100 Million

This is Trump's 56th visit to his course in West Palm Beach and 110th golf day in just over 14 months in office, keeping him on track to spend $300 million on golf.

https://t.co/9Mgv7M1JlR

[𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 🌷 @millie_the_minx]

Why don't easter eggs come with mugs anymore? Was that just a 90's thing?

[Jon Favreau @jonfavs]

He’s winding down the war and looking for an off-ramp but will blow up all their power plants unless they open the Strait which we don’t need and will open itself anyway which is why he might send ground troops to the country he already blew off the map.

[Just Jay @1JaySC]

Pretty much sums it up….

[Daractenus @Daractenus]

For the record, the president of the United States is now simultaneously claiming that he has won the war, is currently winning the war, needs help to win the war, and needs no help to win the war. All to destroy the nuclear program he claims to have already destroyed last year.

[dr ellie king @drellietheking]

Do not enter your data into this website
Do not enter your data into this website
Do not enter your data into this website
Do not enter your data into this website
Do not enter your data into this website
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[The Purple Pimpernel @Eyeswideopen69]

People who say Starmer is the worst PM ever have very short memories:

[James Fibbens @mcjlf1]

@Daractenus @Jim_Cornelius Surely windmills are for milling grain in East Anglia, or perhaps pumping water out of a Dutch field? Surely what he is ranting on about are wind turbines used for producing electricity. Is anybody going to tell him?

[Gianl1974 @Gianl1974]

“Why do some British people not like Donald Trump?” Nate White, an articulate and witty writer from England wrote the following response:

A few things spring to mind. Trump lacks certain qualities which the British traditionally esteem. For instance, he has no class, no charm, no coolness, no credibility, no compassion, no wit, no warmth, no wisdom, no subtlety, no sensitivity, no self-awareness, no humility, no honour and no grace – all qualities, funnily enough, with which his predecessor Mr. Obama was generously blessed. So for us, the stark contrast does rather throw Trump’s limitations into embarrassingly sharp relief.

Plus, we like a laugh. And while Trump may be laughable, he has never once said anything wry, witty or even faintly amusing – not once, ever. I don’t say that rhetorically, I mean it quite literally: not once, not ever. And that fact is particularly disturbing to the British sensibility – for us, to lack humour is almost inhuman. But with Trump, it’s a fact. He doesn’t even seem to understand what a joke is – his idea of a joke is a crass comment, an illiterate insult, a casual act of cruelty.

Trump is a troll. And like all trolls, he is never funny and he never laughs; he only crows or jeers. And scarily, he doesn’t just talk in crude, witless insults – he actually thinks in them. His mind is a simple bot-like algorithm of petty prejudices and knee-jerk nastiness.

There is never any under-layer of irony, complexity, nuance or depth. It’s all surface. Some Americans might see this as refreshingly upfront. Well, we don’t. We see it as having no inner world, no soul. And in Britain we traditionally side with David, not Goliath. All our heroes are plucky underdogs: Robin Hood, Dick Whittington, Oliver Twist. Trump is neither plucky, nor an underdog. He is the exact opposite of that. He’s not even a spoiled rich-boy, or a greedy fat-cat. He’s more a fat white slug. A Jabba the Hutt of privilege.

And worse, he is that most unforgivable of all things to the British: a bully. That is, except when he is among bullies; then he suddenly transforms into a snivelling sidekick instead. There are unspoken rules to this stuff – the Queensberry rules of basic decency – and he breaks them all. He punches downwards – which a gentleman should, would, could never do – and every blow he aims is below the belt. He particularly likes to kick the vulnerable or voiceless – and he kicks them when they are down.

So the fact that a significant minority – perhaps a third – of Americans look at what he does, listen to what he says, and then think ‘Yeah, he seems like my kind of guy’ is a matter of some confusion and no little distress to British people, given that:

• Americans are supposed to be nicer than us, and mostly are.

• You don’t need a particularly keen eye for detail to spot a few flaws in the man.

This last point is what especially confuses and dismays British people, and many other people too; his faults seem pretty bloody hard to miss. After all, it’s impossible to read a single tweet, or hear him speak a sentence or two, without staring deep into the abyss. He turns being artless into an art form; he is a Picasso of pettiness; a Shakespeare of shit. His faults are fractal: even his flaws have flaws, and so on ad infinitum. God knows there have always been stupid people in the world, and plenty of nasty people too. But rarely has stupidity been so nasty, or nastiness so stupid. He makes Nixon look trustworthy and George W look smart. In fact, if Frankenstein decided to make a monster assembled entirely from human flaws – he would make a Trump.

And a remorseful Doctor Frankenstein would clutch out big clumpfuls of hair and scream in anguish: ‘My God… what… have… I… created?' If being a twat was a TV show, Trump would be the boxed set.

[Matthew Todd 🌏🔥 @MrMatthewTodd]

I’m not a fan of Starmer, but whatever he does – literally whatever he does - he is ripped apart, ripped to shreds, by the telegraph, Mail, express, Sun, spectator, the very same people who installed Boris Johnson and the appalling Liz Truss.
The same people who installed the governments that caused Brexit and the financial chaos that has ensued, the same people who have driven this country into the ground.
I’m sick to death of them.
They are the biggest threat to this country and all of us across the board, no matter what our politics are. We need to get billionaires out of the Media

[James Fibbens @mcjlf1]

@sciencegirl To quote Nigel Tufnel of Spinal Tap: “how much more black could it be? None. None more black”

[Waqas🔶️ @m0w4q45]

That’s obviously bollocks.

People didn’t want Labour. They didn’t want Tories on steroids either. So they voted Green. It’s not a conspiracy, it’s just voters saying, “Nah, not you.”

And spare me the culture war nonsense. If this country supposedly can’t stand women or minorities, then how exactly did a blonde lass from Bolton win, in a party led by a gay Jewish fella from the South? Doesn’t quite fit the dramatic little story, does it?

The truth is you and Farage thought it would be a cakewalk. Wave a few flags, shout about migrants, collect the votes. Instead, you got a metaphorical bloody nose. Turns out people can smell recycled rhetoric from a mile off.

You’re on 90k a year, banging on about “the working class” like you clock in at a warehouse before Parliament. There’s something almost impressive about earning that much while pretending you’re one late gas bill away from disaster. The average Joe isn’t stupid. He’s tired, skint, and wide awake.

Reform and the Great Yarmouth People’s Front trying to cosplay as working class is genuinely comedy gold. It’s like watching lads who’ve never done a proper graft shift in their lives explain to bricklayers why Abdul down the road is the reason their wages are low.

No. People are struggling because you lied about Brexit, you hollowed out industry, and you treat the working class like a photo opportunity with steel-toe boots.

And the more you shout, the more obvious it becomes.

[Damian Low @DamianLow3]

You're going to be very surprised when you find out the Mayor isn't responsible for setting drink prices

[Madelaine Hanson @MadelaineLucyH]

Ok, Americans, I am beginning to realise how badly misinformed you are on UK politics so let’s blitz this.

1. There is NO “welfare” in Britain. There are specific allowances and support systems in place for the vulnerable and deprived, but we call this benefits/universal credit. If you asked for the “welfare centre” here no one would know what you meant. It depends massively on where you live and what your situation is.

2. The NHS is not “welfare”. It’s not “what poor people have to do”. The vast majority of people use it.

3. You can’t get benefits in the UK unless you are legally allowed to stay here, are established as unable to work, facing extreme poverty, or are actively looking for work. You’d be given a leaflet on applying for jobs.

4. You can’t get council housing (welfare housing) in the UK unless you have no funds to support yourself in the private market AND you are unable to house yourself on your wages/income. Often they will place you in temporary shared hostel housing , not your own place, especially if you don’t have kids. You don’t just get a “free house”.

5. No, illegal immigrants don’t qualify for anything. You’ll be denied assistance if you don’t have the correct documentation as a refugee, citizen, resident, etc. You can’t just turn up and get money and education.

6. We pay councils (like mini states) tax on top of our normal tax for residency in that area and they are responsible for a LOT of local services and funding decisions. Nothing to do with Keir Starmer.

7. You have councillors and MPs. Both are elected. The first are usually civil servants who know how to do things, the second are more career politicians. Sometimes you get a “angry at the government” idiot candidate as a councillor and you’re fucked because he’s a crook and out for himself.

8. No, the king can’t intervene in politics or change any laws. The last person who did was Edward VII in the 1900s and he was ordered to after an election/parliamentary ruling. He’s basically Melania Trump power wise.

9. No, we don’t all support the royalty. It’s mostly for tourist so and grandmas. No one really talks about them.

10. No, we aren’t overrun by Muslims. London, Birmingham and Bradford are large urban immigrant areas but 60 years ago the same rhetoric was about Irish people and Black Caribbean people. Racists gonna racist.