Insert Eye Roll Here

santa claus is coming to town, but my dad isn’t

[Letterboxd @letterboxd]

hope she’s having a good day 💖

[milt the music man @hthaze]

STOP LYING I KNOW TODAYS THE LYING DAY BUT IN GULLIBLE AS FUCK PLEASE DONT LIE TO ME TODAY

[Ms. Regular Degular… @Kay_Leinese]

Tomorrow April Fool’s Day but ain't shit funny right now so don't come fucking playing with me. 😭😭😭

[cooper @marnieapologist]

my body does not know the difference between a mistake at work and being hunted for sport

[Insert Eye Roll Here @mcubed1125]

If I have to relive 2016 with a Broncos/Seahawks Super Bowl I’m gonna need committed

[ඞ @lifeinchaos_]

my toxic trait is that i don’t feel any sense of accomplishment after achieving something. just a mild sense of relief that it's done.

[☔ @Whotfismick]

Me saying "but hey, things happen" after telling the most traumatic event of my life

[Insert Eye Roll Here @mcubed1125]

Apparently I kept all the nice handwritten things you ever gave me in 6 years. It was 4 things☠️

[Insert Eye Roll Here @mcubed1125]

Being disappointed by my parents doesn’t break my heart anymore but it damn sure still hurts my feelings

[Roma @Romazehari]

nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did
LMAO

[Insert Eye Roll Here @mcubed1125]

“Did you just compare being gay to being a Denver broncos fan?”

[໊ @meishato]

why does every “getting my life together” era have to be followed by an “oops everything fell apart again” arc. can i skip to the part where things stay good for longer than 3 business days

[Insert Eye Roll Here @mcubed1125]

If I get asked one more time what I’m getting someone for Christmas, I’m taking everybody’s shit back and nobody gets anything.

[Insert Eye Roll Here @mcubed1125]

“We’re gonna do that thing where I ignore you and then the trash disappears outta my car.”

[Insert Eye Roll Here @mcubed1125]

“You gotta get out there a little bit”
“Doing that requires disturbing my peace and that’s all 75% of men do”

[alfie @alfienxo]

sorry for how i acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time