Matthew D.

Use with joystick controller.

[Matthew D. @mdagger360]

NFTs are a rebrand of time shares

[Matthew D. @mdagger360]

Trolling trump supporter videos are the new leftists/feminist owned videos

[Matthew D. @mdagger360]

@destino_max I don’t even go in the ocean at the beach. Just gimme a shovel and come back in an hour

[Matthew D. @mdagger360]

Someone told me that I need to get specific shampoo since my hair is kinda long and curly. Jokes on you, I accidentally got about a 1/2 quart of motor oil poured in my hair yesterday and now it’s twice as much volume

[Matthew D. @mdagger360]

Tommyinnit and Yungblud are the same person in different fonts.

[Matthew D. @mdagger360]

I’m convinced the only people who still use Redbox are people who don’t know how piracy works

[Matthew D. @mdagger360]

I love it when Christians say abstinence is the only 100% effective form of birth control. I think the virgin marry might disagree with them on that one

[Matthew D. @mdagger360]

Can we as a society please stop making students analyze Shakespeare? I’m literally an engineering student. Nothing I write hasn’t been written a million times before and a million times better

[Matthew D. @mdagger360]

I just soldered two wire together and fixed my desk lamp, so as far and any of you are considered, I’m a certified electrician 🤧

[Matthew D. @mdagger360]

@BrigidHudson3 Mine literally canceled class 10 minutes after it started. She deserves head from god himself for that

[Matthew D. @mdagger360]

So y’all just weren’t gonna tell me how good cream cheese rangoon‘s are??? You’ve girlbossed a bit to much this time

[Matthew D. @mdagger360]

Gaslighting a woman: overdone, complicated, makes you an asshole. Gaslighting a cat? Never been done, pushes the boundaries of science, makes you less of an asshole

[Matthew D. @mdagger360]

To the dude that sold me his civic, you’re a bitch and I’m gonna fuck your mom. Slight oil leak my ass

[Matthew D. @mdagger360]

@destino_max Sign the petition to stop Jerry’s ridiculous mandering. He’s out of control

[Matthew D. @mdagger360]

Why the fuck would I need therapy??? I just shoveled two handfuls of shredded cheese in my mouth so I’m good for at least a week

[Matthew D. @mdagger360]

@AmyWhite11 You want me to go pull out my old Latin work books?!? Because I will 😂

[Matthew D. @mdagger360]

“So how much of a homeschool kid we’re you?”
Well I took Latin for three years…

[Matthew D. @mdagger360]

If we could get all the millennials and boomers to play Plague Inc for a couple hours, feel like the pandemic would be much easier to manage

[Matthew D. @mdagger360]

Turns out not everyone hears ringing in their ears all the time and I just have tinnitus 🙂

[Matthew D. @mdagger360]

@femceladvocate The Church of Bezos. Then he’ll make all of Amazon a “non-profit religious organization”

[Matthew D. @mdagger360]

How long till Amazon starts their own religion?