Mikey Bagels

Because I said so...

[Mikey Bagels @mdcappy]

How about a fuckwits registry? RFK Jr registrant numero uno…

[Mikey Bagels @mdcappy]

You haven’t hit rock bottom until you’ve seriously considered eating peanut butter and jelly on a hotdog bun…

[Mikey Bagels @mdcappy]

The most upsetting takeaway re: RFK Jr is how batshit crazy Cheryl Hines must be.

[Mikey Bagels @mdcappy]

Trump’s greatest achievement in this 2nd term is proving that he’s an even bigger piece of human shit than we already thought he was!

[Mikey Bagels @mdcappy]

I see a “Weekend at Abrego’s” scenario in our future…

[Mikey Bagels @mdcappy]

Can someone please add me to the Signal chat about when to buy and sell…

[Mikey Bagels @mdcappy]

@TheKitchenPB @BenJohns_pb @TysonMcGuffin @SimoneJardim4 JOOLA

[Mikey Bagels @mdcappy]

@atrupar The only person kissing your ass is you!!!

[Mikey Bagels @mdcappy]

America was like a sick patient and now the sick patient is in surgery. The only problem is the doctor didn’t go to med school!!!

[Mikey Bagels @mdcappy]

HBO slyly slipped Civil War into the prime time schedule the other night…

[Mikey Bagels @mdcappy]

We have reached the hiding Sumo tangerine phase of marriage…

[Mikey Bagels @mdcappy]

Lorne Michaels: “Get me Keegan Michael Key on the phone. Now!”

[Mikey Bagels @mdcappy]

Corey Booker finally saying enough to make up for all the other cowards that have said nothing!

[Mikey Bagels @mdcappy]

Who exactly is being liberated tomorrow? So suspenseful…

[Mikey Bagels @mdcappy]

With one epsiode left, the main White Lotus season 3 takeaway is…don’t jerk your brother off…

[Mikey Bagels @mdcappy]

Pete Hegseth’s next tattoo…👊🇺🇸🔥

[Mikey Bagels @mdcappy]

Everyone knows that if you buy something you don’t need for $200…return it…and then buy something you dont need for $125, you have saved $75.

[Mikey Bagels @mdcappy]

Anyone arguing that there wasn’t any classified information in the chat is a moron and should be treated as such…

[Mikey Bagels @mdcappy]

So incompetent they forgot to make the fist white… 👊🇺🇸🔥

[Mikey Bagels @mdcappy]

I have AKLFS…Acute Karoline Leavitt Fatigue Syndrome.