Mark Twain

Writer. Steamboat pilot. Mustache aficionado.

[Mark Twain @mdogtwain]

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please

[Mark Twain @mdogtwain]

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow #finishingHalotoday

[Mark Twain @mdogtwain]

@The_HuckFinn89 thanks, I'm glad I created you. You've made me loads of cash

[Mark Twain @mdogtwain]

@williehowls the ladies like it

[Mark Twain @mdogtwain]

@williehowls sorry dude he needed some cheering up, and you were still asleep

[Mark Twain @mdogtwain]

@henhizzlejames yes XD ROTFL

[Mark Twain @mdogtwain]

@henhizzlejames you'll pull through dude

[Mark Twain @mdogtwain]

@henhizzlejames you're so bad

[Mark Twain @mdogtwain]

The best way to cheer yourself up is to cheer someone else up @henhizzlejames #baskinrobbins #shedoesntdeserveyou

[Mark Twain @mdogtwain]

Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life @henhizzlejames @williehowls

[Mark Twain @mdogtwain]

I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened. #videogames #lol

[Mark Twain @mdogtwain]

if you dont read the Twitter feed, you're uninformed. if you read the Twitter feed, you're misinformed. #TheStruggleIsReal

[Mark Twain @mdogtwain]

go to heaven for the climate, hell for the company @henhizzlejames @williehowls #bffs4lyfe

[Mark Twain @mdogtwain]

courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear- not absence of fear @henhizzlejames @williehowls #stillplayingCOD #kickingbutt

[Mark Twain @mdogtwain]

the trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding one worth dying for @henhizzlejames @williehowls #COD #videogames #XboxLive

[Mark Twain @mdogtwain]

clothes make the man. naked people have little or no influence on society. Lmfao #noshirt #nofilter

[Mark Twain @mdogtwain]

wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been #thisishowismile #selfie

[Mark Twain @mdogtwain]

life's short, break the rules. laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that makes you smile unless killing people makes you smile lol

[Mark Twain @mdogtwain]

never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be an option #brokeupwithgf #sorrynotsorry