brando commando

so we overthrowing the government or what?

[Pat McAfee @PatMcAfeeShow]

Not exactly “great for the brand”... “I’m an athlete.. I’m an athlete.. I’m dead”

[brando commando @mean_spice]

roe, roe, roe your boat, gently down with the state and the pedophile politicians

[Thom Lambert @profthomlambert]

If the people at @postmates think this sort of ad is good for gay people, they’re on crack. The incessant pandering is bad enough, but this is just gross. Can June please be over?

[brando commando @mean_spice]

law school is so easy even I did it

[brando commando @mean_spice]

@AndersWalker @YouTube nutsack

[brando commando @mean_spice]

murdering the elderly is quite literally doing God’s work

[brando commando @mean_spice]

I drinked too much

[brando commando @mean_spice]

Could really go for a denny’s waitress rn just to pay homage to tiger

[brando commando @mean_spice]

People who wear distressed jeans be like “I fall down all the fuckin time”

[brando commando @mean_spice]

BUTT NAKED WONDER

BIG BROTHA THUNDA

AND THE

[brando commando @mean_spice]

“Awesome”
-my dad hearing I sprained my wrist

[Xaniken @Xaniken]

I am Ronald’s strongest soldier

[brando commando @mean_spice]

The CIA funded several drug smuggling operations in North and South America but they did it with our tax dollars so we are all equally guilty of starting the crack epidemic

[brando commando @mean_spice]

rest assured that I will come to your skatepark and I will take a shit in it

[brando commando @mean_spice]

confession: on the last day of a vacation, I will always drop a deuce in the pool. any pool. none of your pools are safe.

[brando commando @mean_spice]

some kid with a razor scooter beat me up for taking a shit in the skatepark but I can’t stop

[Christina E. Cox @ChristinaECox]

Today, when introducing WWI, a student raised her hand and brought up the death of a certain archduke. Nobody knew his name, so as a hint, I offered that he shares his name with a band.

Gentle reader, my students asked if there had perhaps been an Archduke Metallica.

[brando commando @mean_spice]

the season finale of better call saul will reveal that all of the events of breaking bad take place inside a snow globe that kim gives saul before dying of a marijuana overdose

[brando commando @mean_spice]

“Fuck”
-my dad when he remembers I exist