Oleksandr Dzyuba

Kyiv, Ukraine. Building a Skoolie motorhome based on the old Ikarus Bus ex CEO of Adtena company. Startups, networks, graphical design.

[Oleksandr Dzyuba @mecmaster]

Must be very useful for #startups KPI-sheet by @bratt #growthhacking #MHW @500Startups https://t.co/iHSjaXCASy

[Oleksandr Dzyuba @mecmaster]

То хтось є з моїх тві у Львові сьогодні? Бо я тут пригод шукаю ) #lviv

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Oleksandr Dzyuba @mecmaster]

@HotSotin Х у й л о

[Oleksandr Dzyuba @mecmaster]

@PM_ViktorOrban Yes, because imigrands can find your castle as not appropriate for a servant of the nation

[Oleksandr Dzyuba @mecmaster]

@ursburkART @PM_ViktorOrban So what do you think about the fact that was clear that russian oil will be banned 3 years ago and your beloved minister does nothing to organize any other oil contracts, even while they was cheaper, so better for citizens

[Oleksandr Dzyuba @mecmaster]

@PM_ViktorOrban According to your last speech about the war russia came to Ukraine with - you are a russian motherfucker. We're defending and trying to save our life's here in Ukraine while russian terrorists with putin as a chief invade our country and killing us on our territory.

[Oleksandr Dzyuba @mecmaster]

@P_Kallioniemi That's will not true. Ukrainians in US will show you how to deal with russia

[Oleksandr Dzyuba @mecmaster]

@elonmusk My president was dressed up enough for a President of a country that was attack by russian terrorists. And US, as an official guarantee of sovereign of UA does not do enough.

[Oleksandr Dzyuba @mecmaster]

@elonmusk States was Ukrainian official guarantee of not being attacked by anyone. And I feel an air strikes every day.

[Oleksandr Dzyuba @mecmaster]

рашка, коли ми стояли на Майдані казали що то все організовано і проплачено Штатами, а коли Майдан в Штатах вони кого будуть звинувачувати?

[Oleksandr Dzyuba @mecmaster]

@elonmusk Did you hear an explosion of Iranian/russian drone over your head few minutes ago? That's crazy...

[Oleksandr Dzyuba @mecmaster]

https://t.co/fQvn4zaFaj

[Oleksandr Dzyuba @mecmaster]

Муд ранку: йобана русня...

[Oleksandr Dzyuba @mecmaster]

Ось вам хтивка на сьогодні.

[TOP LEAD @TopLeadEU]

At night, the occupiers fired at Ukraine from all types of air weapons, and at the moment, 22 people have been killed, and there may be more.

Most missiles and drones were shot down by air defense.

[Oleksandr Dzyuba @mecmaster]

@KatryaUa @vsheredeha Ох, а у нас був ппц бо приїхали посеред ночі з сусіднього села мужики з рушницями бо через сильний вітер спрацьовували фонарики з датчиками руху і сонячними батарейками. І вимагали рубильником їх вимкнути...

[Oleksandr Dzyuba @mecmaster]

рашка і хамас - одна хуйня... різниця тільки в тому шо рашка вважає себе більш цивілізованою, але тільки в 5ти містах.

[Oleksandr Dzyuba @mecmaster]

Люди які шлють голосові повідомлення - ну у вас же сто пудів не всі пальці відмовили....

[Oleksandr Dzyuba @mecmaster]

6 років назад я казав дружині що хочу дітей, а вона сказала що вони будуть красиві, але попросила щоб ми два роки не піднімали цю тему... потім весь час було не на часі, але коли воно нарешті буде на часі?

[Oleksandr Dzyuba @mecmaster]

Glory to everyone who is now fighting for Ukraine! Thank to everyone who brings evil state for the responsibility!
All of Ukraine will be free.
Glory to Ukraine!