Condescending Con

I'm condescending, that means I talk you down. (Parody account).

[Condescending Con @medaSarcasm]

Tips to reduce weight: First turn your head to the right, then turn it to the left. Repeat this every time you are offered something to eat.

[Condescending Con @medaSarcasm]

Fuck Mondays.

[Condescending Con @medaSarcasm]

When you have no makeup and your boyfriend still thinks you're beautiful.

[Condescending Con @medaSarcasm]

Couples in winter: We're going to cuddle and snuggle like there's no tomorrow.

Me in winter: *Stares at pillow*. You love me right?

[Condescending Con @medaSarcasm]

Laughing so hard no noise comes out, so you just sit there clapping like a retarded seal.

[Condescending Con @medaSarcasm]

*Cough* slut.

[Condescending Con @medaSarcasm]

There is a fine line between "what I should tweet" and "what I should tell my therapist".

[Condescending Con @medaSarcasm]

Hey, nice legs. What time do they open?

[Condescending Con @medaSarcasm]

My follower count is 420 and I'm definitely not high.

[Condescending Con @medaSarcasm]

You assume I give a fuck? That's cute.

[Condescending Con @medaSarcasm]

I... Gotta... Do... Some... Nothing.

[Condescending Con @medaSarcasm]

I'm not saying she's a slut, but they're probably gonna have to bury her in a Y-shaped coffin.

[Condescending Con @medaSarcasm]

Oh, you smoke and drink at 13? Your future must be so bright.

[Condescending Con @medaSarcasm]

You're at Starbucks? Please post pictures of your coffee, I've never seen one before.

[Condescending Con @medaSarcasm]

A six pack doesn't count if you're skinny.

[Condescending Con @medaSarcasm]

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

[Condescending Con @medaSarcasm]

If you have a problem with me, please write it nicely on a piece of paper, fold it up, and shove it up your ass.

[Condescending Con @medaSarcasm]

I shower naked.

[Condescending Con @medaSarcasm]

Sex jokes aren't funny, I mean cum on people.

[Condescending Con @medaSarcasm]

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5 or 6 times, just to be sure.