Benjamin (((dong water IPA))) Mercer 🎄

Fmr 7 star admiral general navy(lawyer), ironworker, freelance seniorcare espionage, TaftHartley survivor #2A 💪✊#FamilyFirst #gender #union #49ers #ATVsFirst

[Benjamin (((dong water IPA))) Mercer 🎄 @mediabenjamin]

Humbled and blessed ✊🙏

[Benjamin (((dong water IPA))) Mercer 🎄 @mediabenjamin]

mitch mcdonell bussy dry af send tweet

[Benjamin (((dong water IPA))) Mercer 🎄 @mediabenjamin]

underrated tweet

[Benjamin (((dong water IPA))) Mercer 🎄 @mediabenjamin]

celine dion is just FUBU for white ppl

[Benjamin (((dong water IPA))) Mercer 🎄 @mediabenjamin]

i found him

[Benjamin (((dong water IPA))) Mercer 🎄 @mediabenjamin]

does anyone know where to find a black doctor?

[Benjamin (((dong water IPA))) Mercer 🎄 @mediabenjamin]

in retrospect, naming my 3 sons ''Det (short for Detroit)" and "Chek (short for sportchek " and "Chet (short for Chetroit ") was genois

[Benjamin (((dong water IPA))) Mercer 🎄 @mediabenjamin]

when my fat son Chet falls asleep i like to rub coldcuts on his belly and let neighbors dogs nibble his bellyrolls 😎😎😎😎

[Benjamin (((dong water IPA))) Mercer 🎄 @mediabenjamin]

when my fat son Chet falls asleep i like to rub coldcuts on his belly and let neighbors dogs nibble his bellyrolls 😎😎😎😎

[Benjamin (((dong water IPA))) Mercer 🎄 @mediabenjamin]

update: hunting for poosay

[Benjamin (((dong water IPA))) Mercer 🎄 @mediabenjamin]

me: unfortunately cannot enhance husban (Ben with AI. he sucks permanent
Ben (husband): thank u for the birthday party and speech i am sleepy
me: [step on cake

[Benjamin (((dong water IPA))) Mercer 🎄 @mediabenjamin]

app idea: tied the three most annoying dogs and the two fattest hungarian child in the neighborhood to each other

[Benjamin (((dong water IPA))) Mercer 🎄 @mediabenjamin]

back in the day i used to work at walmart. we had a guy who used to be the ""secret shitter'. literal evey day there would be ransom turds or soft matter (shit / laying around in one of the aisles. everyone always wanted to solve mysteries but this was unsolved. it was me lol wow

[Benjamin (((dong water IPA))) Mercer 🎄 @mediabenjamin]

reason: homosexual behaviors. not jew stuff

[Benjamin (((dong water IPA))) Mercer 🎄 @mediabenjamin]

my rabbi said ur dad is gay as!

[Benjamin (((dong water IPA))) Mercer 🎄 @mediabenjamin]

ally (woman support :
:step 1: lift lid and sit down to pee
step 2: let it all out
step 3: flip lid back down. smash penis
final step: incredible pain

[Benjamin (((dong water IPA))) Mercer 🎄 @mediabenjamin]

not apologize to shiela tho. that ass so fat

[Benjamin (((dong water IPA))) Mercer 🎄 @mediabenjamin]

righting my wrongs step 1: i apologies to all the wagons i slapped when i was drunk at the parent teacher association meeting the last few months its hard not to slap asswhen ur drunk af

[Benjamin (((dong water IPA))) Mercer 🎄 @mediabenjamin]

my rabbi said ur dad is gay as!

[Benjamin (((dong water IPA))) Mercer 🎄 @mediabenjamin]

son (one name i forgot: dad, im feeling turkish today
me (succesful father and alcoholic: is that why u stole all the light bulb from Jennys house and smell like the floor of burger king
son: you dont take care of me

[Benjamin (((dong water IPA))) Mercer 🎄 @mediabenjamin]

breakig news: Dora from explorer hijack 747 and demand reparations for what i did to school gymnasium almost 3 years ago get over it hoe

[Benjamin (((dong water IPA))) Mercer 🎄 @mediabenjamin]

my idiot kid (middle one was detained overnight after he used the airport pool and ran with towel wrapped on head through airportJFK which means I DOJT HAVE TO COOK DINNER TONIGHT freedom babyn!!!!!

[Benjamin (((dong water IPA))) Mercer 🎄 @mediabenjamin]

"nuttid it closed forever" he says now

[Benjamin (((dong water IPA))) Mercer 🎄 @mediabenjamin]

one difficulty part of raising 3 boys now teenagers is if there mad they can literally threaten to just nut at u

[Benjamin (((dong water IPA))) Mercer 🎄 @mediabenjamin]

Det sealed one of his book shut he called "most hated and bad book in history" who the fuck is stefany meyer

[Benjamin (((dong water IPA))) Mercer 🎄 @mediabenjamin]

TIL that 7/11 was named after the first osamavin laden party/terror thing, which was before the famous 9/11 and the upcoming 12/11

[TJToTheMoon @TJToTheMoon_]

@lilmabu Why bro built like the off brand guy from dune head ahh 💀💀🙏🙏😭😭